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I normally wouldn’t answer my own question but I’ve taken some time to think about it and I wanted to share for anyone dealing with similar stuff in the future and comes across this question.

I only really put together the understanding that her behavior wasn’t okay very recently and that realization changed a lot for me. I used to think it was normal and okay, but one of my friends pointed out my sister doesn’t have a right to force me to make decisions she wants me to make and control what I do in my life. It took a lot of reflecting to understand that even though I loved her, the feelings of fear and anxiety are generated from her behaviour. Seeing the truth allowed me to decide to take steps to come up with a way to deal with it. Also, understanding that conversations, etc. aren’t going to change her has helped me focus on myself and my reactions so I can maintain inner peace.

I really liked Guruka Singh’s answer of training myself not to react. It’s not okay to fight fire with fire. I’m going to continue to love her but create a boundary that she cannot micromanage my life. I never used to understand when people said "have boundaries in relationships" but I can see now its important. I know she will use whatever means necessary to get me to do what she wants. Know that I’ve identified those tactics for what they are it’s easier to say “she’s just saying that to get me to do what she wants” instead of being hurt by them. Here’s the biggest thing I’ve learned: Staying quiet doesn’t mean I’m weak or powerless. When I stayed quiet in the past it was out of fear. But now I am choosing actively not to respond and I think there’s a difference there. I still stay quiet but I maintain my mental health and know that I didn’t fuel the fire.