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bhainjee this is going to sound really weird but I have exactly the same issue! My older sister always gets her way and my parents always listen to her opinion. If I want to do something she'll make sure my parents say no! My parents are not the people to ask for permission, it's her. She's has taken over my entire life, making sure I have no friends, I don't catch up with anyone, making sure I have NO social media whatsoever, reading my messages, telling me off about absolutely everything and even blackmailing me. Because we are traditional amritdhari Gursikhs I'm expected to respect what she says and have no argument with her whatsoever. She hits me and yells at me but I'm not allowed to do anything about it. Because of her, I hate my life and I hate being a girl. I wake up every morning wishing I was a boy and free from the control of everyone. I have faith in Sikhi and maharaj but I have lost complete faith in my family, and as for the older sister, I HATE HER. I know Sikhi is about love and respect but no one is a brahm gyani and this is my weakness. She has destroyed me physically and mentally and I'll never forget that. I just want her married and out of my life.

As far as what to do, I'm sorry to say this but I've given up trying to fix my life. My family wont ever change and I know that. We've had sit down talks and have tried to solve things but in the end, I'm always restricted and my life is about rebelling and getting instagram and facebook without them knowing. I do an ardaas and pray she gets married and the hell out of my life in 2 years max. I myself want to get married so I can get the hell out of this overprotective jail and make my own choices with my husband. Bhainjee, you just have to wait, do simran and paath and EARN this change of lifestyle from maharaj. Whatever we want done or change WILL happen, but only if we deserve it by putting in our share of paath and simran. I'm sorry for not being much of a help and I really hope things get better for you! You're not alone in this, just remember most Sikh families have this issue! I always single myself and say why is it just me, truth is it's almost everyone around you but they don't show it.

Bhul Chuk Maaf :)