Kaur881's profile - activity

WJKK WJKF Ji

I have been afraid of making mistakes or failing my whole life as I care a lot about what others think of me. I get nervous a lot too. I know it shouldn't be like this and I have been telling and working on myself for many years but my mind is still afraid and very stubborn. While completing my University, I have always stayed in my comfort spot and never tried to take any risks (is it wrong to be like that??). Now that I am done my studies I am looking for a job to start off my career. The problem is that I am afraid to start working, afraid of being in a job and making mistakes and fear of how others may react to this. I feel I have a super active mind, it always keeps thinking and never stops which doesn't allow me to focus and concentrate on the task at hand. This fear takes away my motivation to anything, even simple things around the house like doing dishes etc. What I studied in University is not something I am really passionate about; I kind of just took the program because I just wanted to get into something that will get me a job. I tried to develop passion for it but it’s not coming. I do know one thing which is that I want to help others. I feel like every day is a battle for me internally, my mind goes crazy just thinking about jobs and the future. My parents are pressuring me to find a job and to get married. I sometimes feel like my head is literally going to explode but Gurus Bani is keeping me together. I am a very patient person, I feel that if I keep doing my Banis and just pray to God, God will show me the right path but the pressure from my parents just makes me worry. My whole life I have always worked on myself, every day I would reflect on myself, to try to become a better person and always tried to keep God in my mind. I was always into Sikhi but I never developed a routine to do my Nitnem. I would do it once in a while and say to myself oh I am going to do Nitnem everyday during the holidays but that never happened then I said oh I will do it the next holidays then I will do it once I finish University. Everyday I would go to sleep promising myself that I will wake early but I never did. After finishing university I stayed home for few months but wasted that time just worrying about finding a job etc and didn’t do my Nitnem. Deep down I knew that until I don’t build my discipline I am not going to gain my confidence and fear will not go away because my Rehat and spirituality is more important ... (more)