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I was born a Sikh, but grew up doing things a Sikh should not do. For example, cutting hair, drinking, eating meat. There are many things that I grew up doing because I was raised that way. There are things that I have grown used to that I can't see myself giving up due to family expectations.

Example: cutting my hair. I kept my hair uncut for about 3 years, and my family would complain. They kept telling me to cut it. There is an expectation to look tidy.

I recently stopped eating meat, and this was going well until I came into some money problems, and unfortunately occasionally had to eat the food my family ate. They bought some vegetarian food, but they mainly eat meat. My local temple is a couple hours away, and I can't drive.

I'm not sure if this question is right for this site but I just need advice.

I want to learn more about Sikhism, but my Punjabi is pretty bad, and I've grown used to and am expected to live a certain way. I feel like it's just a case of picking and choosing what aspect of Sikhism suits people best and forgetting the rest, and it shouldn't be like that. Would this ever be considered OK? I have to admit this is so hard.