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For a long time I have been feeling so empty and lost. I never made many friends. I never party - never done any drugs or alcohol. I dont even have a phone. Clearly I am not your typical teenager. I always dress conservatively and be kind as possible. I try to enjoy and appreciate the little things in life but lately I just feel so down. I'm grade 11 this year and everything has changed. My one close friend is becoming distant each day, my grades are dropping. I was a first class honour roll last year and I even received a scholarship for my achievements that year. But this year I am getting 3 B's and one A, and I dont really understand why. I dont feel good about my body and how I look. I really no longer enjoy the person I am. I loved dressing up and what not, now I dont even remember/care about what I wore yesterday. I literally can feel parts of me dying. I dont know what to feel. Theres so much more to it. I'm confused about life and my identity. I feel like I dont understand what God has in store for me.

For a long time I have been feeling so empty and lost. I never made many friends. I never party - never done any drugs or alcohol. I dont even have a phone. Clearly I am not your typical teenager. I always dress conservatively and be kind as possible. I try to enjoy and appreciate the little things in life but lately I just feel so down. I'm grade 11 this year and everything has changed. My one close friend is becoming distant each day, my grades are dropping. I was a first class honour roll last year and I even received a scholarship for my achievements that year. But this year I am getting 3 B's and one A, and I dont really understand why. I dont feel good about my body and how I look. I really no longer enjoy the person I am. I loved dressing up and what not, now I dont even remember/care about what I wore yesterday. I literally can feel parts of me dying. I dont know what to feel. Theres so much more to it. I'm confused about life and my identity. I feel like I dont understand what God has in store for me. Its not that I want to be pitied so I am asking this, but what should I really do? I believe in God with all my heart.