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Hello!

This is rather strange, but I wanted to ask about opinions about a document I am currently compiling, that's basically a list of questions to ask a prospective marriage partner, that address foundations, core beliefs, etc. BEFORE personality. Is this going a bit too overboard? At first this came about for fun, but it's been an eye-opener when it comes to important things I've never considered before. I feel that young people are not necessarily keeping foundation in mind, and prefer to be floored by a personality, etc.

If it helps, what are some good things/questions/categories to ask a potential partner or someone you might be interested in?

I feel (like with a lot of things in life), that a person might pop out of nowhere very soon. I also intend to answer the same questions I've written every time it's given out.

Does this sound like a good idea?

Thank you and God bless you all with a lovely day!

Hello!

This is rather strange, but I wanted to ask about opinions about a document I am currently compiling, that's basically a list of questions to ask a prospective marriage partner, that address foundations, core beliefs, etc. BEFORE personality. Is this going a bit too overboard? At first this came about for fun, but it's been an eye-opener when it comes to important things I've never considered before. I feel that young people are not necessarily keeping foundation in mind, and prefer to be floored by a personality, etc.

If it helps, what are some good things/questions/categories to ask a potential partner or someone you might be interested in?

I feel (like with a lot of things in life), that a person might pop out of nowhere very soon. I also intend to answer the same questions I've written every time it's given out.

Does this sound like a good idea?

Thank you and God bless you all with a lovely day!

Hello!

This is rather strange, but I wanted to ask about opinions about a document I am currently compiling, that's basically a list of questions to ask a prospective marriage partner, that address foundations, core beliefs, etc. BEFORE personality. Is this going a bit too overboard? At first this came about for fun, but it's been an eye-opener when it comes to important things I've never considered before. I feel that young people are not necessarily keeping foundation in mind, and prefer to be floored by a personality, etc.

If it helps, what are some good things/questions/categories to ask a potential partner or someone you might be interested in?

I feel (like with a lot of things in life), that a person might pop out of nowhere very soon. I also intend to answer the same questions I've written every time it's given out.

Does this sound like a good idea?

Thank you and God bless you all with a lovely day!

Edit

Someone asked about questions, so here are a few samples. I do want to make a note that, when the time comes (a good amount of years down the road), that my parents and I have agreed to no arranged marriages but prefer a "collective marriage" that involves the decision of the couple as well as a mutual understanding between families. families (after all, the way one's family is no fault of the individual!) That being said, these questions can apply regardless of anyone's situation. I divided them up into general categories, just for organization. I hope that some of you may find these useful. These are general, and can be applied to any faith, Sikh or not.

General-Up-Fronters (these will most likely repeat in the complete questionnaire). 1. Have you dated before? 2. What is the purpose of dating, for you? 3. Is this the first time you have courted someone? 4. Is marriage in your future prospects? 5. What does marriage mean for you? 6. Do you feel ready to take the responsibility to make this important decision in your life? 7. How much will your family influence your decision? 8. What qualities do you look for in a potential spouse?

Education 1. What is the highest degree of education you’ve had so far? 2. Do you consider education to be receiving the mark of an institution, or something else? If something else, elaborate. 3. Do you plan on furthering your education? 4. What are your expectations about the education your wife has/will receive? 5. How satisfied are you with whatever education you have received?

Family 1. How important is family to you? 2. Do you want to start a family in the future? 3. How many children are you comfortable with? 4. What are your views about adoption? 5. Do you believe in a close nuclear family, or a close extended family? 6. What kind of relationship do you have with your parents? 7. How involved would you like your own family to be in your marriage? 8. How involved would you like your wife's family to be in your marriage? 9. Would you make important decisions jointly with your wife only, or does other family (parents included) weigh just as equally as your wife’s opinion? 10. How comfortable would you be supporting your wife over your family when it comes to arguments concerning agency, family-planning, expenses, jobs, living space, etc.?

Politics 1. Do politics concern/interest you? 2. Do you have a political affiliation? 3. How important is this political affiliation to you, in terms of what you desire in a partner? 4. How do you view gay rights and gay marriage? 5. What is your stance on abortion? 6. Do you believe in the separation of church and state? 7. What are your views on gun control?

Personal Interests/Hobbies 1. Do you like to travel? 2. Do you have a hobby or hobbies which you enjoy? 3. What has interested you since you were a child? 4. Would you say you spend a lot of time on your hobbies? 5. Do you share hobbies with your friends? 6. How important is it to you that your wife share your hobbies? 7. How important is it to you that you share your partner's hobbies? 8. Are you open to trying new things with your partner?

Health 1. Is there any chronic disease that runs in your family? 2. Do you have allergies? 3. Are you able to take care of yourself? 4. How important is it to you that your partner be able to take care of/understand whatever ailment may affect you? 5. How important is it to you that you be able to take care of/understand whatever ailment may affect your partner? 6. Do you prefer allopathic, homeopathic or ayurvedic (all alternative) medicine? 7. If one of your children were born with a birth defect, etc. how committed would you be to helping take care of that child? 8. How deeply does stress effect you? 9. Are you prone to insomnia?

Work/Housing/Cars 1. Where do you work? 2. Where would you like to work in the near future? 3. Would you be comfortable moving job-locations if your partner gets employment elsewhere? 4. How flexible are you on this issue? 5. What climate is ideal to live in? 6. Would you like to build/buy/rent a living space? 7. How adept are you at filing taxes and paperwork? 8. Are you computer literate? 9. How important is it to you that you have a gun in the house?

Religion I'm actually not going to disclose questions about this section. But they run along the vein of certain perspectives on interfaith, the way one came to their spiritual identity, whether or not they drink or smoke, how children should be raised, and other things that people might disagree about in the context of religion (i.e.: sharing their spiritual practice, their views on the connections between religion and politics and how religiously active they are). Well, "How important is joy and laughter to you?" is in there.

Personality and Temperament 1. How would you describe yourself? 2. Do you consider yourself sociable? 3. How would others describe you? 4. What accomplishments are you most proud of? 5. How would you categorize your temper? 6. How quick to anger are you? 7. What temperament do you wish your spouse to have? 8. Do you believe yourself equipped to handle a spouse's temperament? 9. What makes you happy and pleases you? 10. Are you concerned about the happiness of others? 11. Are you prone to violence? 12. How do you deal with people arguing with you? 13. How much do you value hard work? Have you earned most of the things you own/possess? 14. What means more to you, the outcome, or the means by which the outcome is achieved? 15. How open are you to new ideas? 16. What do you like to do to de-stress?

Outreach/Volunteering 1. How important is seva to you? 2. Do you believe that seva can only be performed in the gurdwara? Or are all forms of selfless work seva? 3. What causes distress you deeply for you to be motivated to work for them? 4. Have you any experience with human rights/outreach campaigns? 5. Are you open to suggestions about volunteering opportunities?

Household Habits and Mechanics 1. Can you cook for yourself? 2. Do you expect your partner to cook for you? 3. Do you prefer to eat in or out? 4. Would you be open to trying new cuisines? 5. How do you describe your living environment? 6. How important is it to you that the chores be split evenly in half? 7. Are you adept at banking and balancing an budget? 8. Should purchases such as furniture, etc. be a joint decision? 9. Who do you think should balance the household budget? 10. How important is it to you that both partners have a joint bank-account? 11. How important is it to you that major decisions are discussed and thought-out before action (such as purchasing a vehicle, etc.)? 12. Are you adept at doing laundry? 13. Are you adept at making minor/major household repairs? 14. Can you change a diaper?

Gender Roles in the Household and Married Life (this is monumentally important) 1. What do you think of gender roles in particular? 2. Do you believe men and women have different responsibilities (in marriage or otherwise)? a) What do you think the role of a woman is? b) What do you think the role of a man is?

1. What are your views on a woman's agency (ability to choose)?
2. What expectations do you have of your partner?
3. How important is it to you that your partner works?
4. How important is it to you that you work?
5. How important is it to you that both parents share the obligation of child care?
6. How important is it to you that your partner respects any restrictions you might want to impose?
7. How important is it to you that you respect any restrictions your partner might want to impose?
8. Is communication and flexibility important to you?
9. How would you want your household to be constructed? Briefly list/describe/or diagram it.
10. What position would you wish to give your partner in the household?
11. What position would you wish your partner to give you in the household?
12. Should you be entitled to knowledge of your partner’s whereabouts at all times?
13. Should your partner be entitled to knowledge of your whereabouts at all times?
14. Would you apply similar restrictions to a daughter(s) or son(s), should you have them?
15. How important is it to you that you and your wife share similar life goals?
16. How comfortable would you be changing your views when the need arises?
17. How do you expect your wife to behave during social events?
18. How do you expect yourself to behave during social events?
19. How well do you understand the role of multiple identities of a person?

Alright! These are not all of them. There are categories for Economics/Spending, Sexuality and Intimacy, Social Events/Friends/Family, but my hand aches so I will update on those a little later.

Please, add more, kindly and constructively critique the ones presented, and feel free to add more categories. It would be very cool if this became a resource for others who are and/or will find themselves handling the responsibility of marriage and moving onto another step of their life in today's day and age.