i don't know
when I try to follow sikhi, I have that goal to be able to achieve that mental state (sehaj)- steadiness. I have a certain image in my mind, what a perfect sikh on the inside feels. and that is obtained through building a relationship to god, and making it stronger through naam.
I want to ask, does everyone have a different or unique experience with god? and talking to god is the only way to get to know yourself. so that relationship is going to be different for everyone. so I should stop trying to seek that "perfect image in my mind"? is it just best to meditate, focus on the inside and act naturally? whatever your natural is? (example: I might try to act very serious, because that is what I think is that perfect state?) you know what I mean? but it might not be natural