God as my husband and feeling jealousy.
Okay so I have feelings for God now, I love Him and I think of Him as my husband. I didn't always have these feelings for God but now I have developed them.
Growing up, I used to think about my future husband and always thought I wonder where he is and who he is. Will I ever meet him etc etc. Anyways there were times when I came across people in my life that I started to like and was in love with but I was always treated so badly, was cheated on and deceived, used and basically it always ended in me being broken hearted and crying for long times alone - just devastated.
I gave up on ever marrying a guy or thinking of falling in love with a male again. I just thought that I am never going to find anyone who is going to be good to me and I did not want to go through the same kind of bs I went through in the past.
I did pray to God then as well but the love I felt for God then was not as intense as it is now in my heart. I didn't view God as my husband then but I knew that God is really the best one among everyone and every creature.
Anyways so I guess I gave my heart to God and now I cannot love a guy anymore and don't even want to think of meeting a guy and wanting any kind of love from Him, because I have given my heart to God and think of Him to be my love, husband.
The problem is this that I feel jealous at times. I feel jealous that there is someone else out there or others that love God in the same way as I do. I feel like a jealous lover of God who is jealous of others that might be in love with God in the same way as I am. Am I wrong to feel this way?
Is God the husband of all the souls? I mean, so does that mean that God has so many 'wives' (souls)? I am confused, can someone please shed some light on this.