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from my understanding, i can be wrong, everyone walks in the will of guru, whether they really know it or not. everyone has a relationship open to god whether they want to use it or not. someone might be an atheist and might feel like he is doing something but even that person is walking in the will of guru, (karni apo apni ke nede ke door, we are closer to god based on the actions we take), if you are taking good actions, you are getting closer. if you do selfless service, you are closer to guru. But at all times we are under his hukam (which means his order) some just have good karam, that they find guru sooner, some never find it and live their whole life in ignorance.

there is a verse, (it says, by his will we chant his name)

not sure about others (I can only share what I know), but When I feel like I am closer to guru, I feel utmost love for guru, and not attached to anything bad, or duality. It is when you find peace within yourself, and when you stop trying to look externally. When you find peace within yourself, you radiate, and handle every situation like a boss.

I really hope that made sense, I am myself a learner