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Sat Sri Akaal

We are human and we make mistakes, otherwise the Gurus and other spiritual leaders would not need teach us anything. Even elders to terrible things, you have realised but all I can say is keep praying, the guilt will fade. You can be healed as your sons have their own journey and you have to take some feeling that you are paying for your so called mistake,Im guessing it all comes to intention, I don't believe by what you are saying, that is was done with a evil heart but a mistake to improve a situation.I am not a parent and I am sure someone here will be able to give you more advice, I can only say keep the faith.You are a Mother and a Mother can be very harsh on herself if things do not work out , you coming here shows that you did not mean to do bad. Waheguru Je Ka Khalsa, WaheGuru Je ke Fateh!