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Sigh! Can understand what you are saying but think about it, is crying and thinking about the past going to solve anything? You need to let go, know its easier said than done but you MUST TRY! Focus on your present and let go off the past. You will definitely find someone who will make your life beautiful but trapping yourself in a room isn't going to take you anywhere so please cut it out and just focus on the present. If you need to talk to someone just to get rid of the thoughts, we are all here :-). Will try our best to help you overcome this.