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If you are really not feeling you can not continue as an amritdhari anymore you might as well leave your lifestyle as a amritdhari. Look there is no point doing something if it is going to make you regret your decision in the first place of taking it. My own personal advice since the concept of amrit was forced down your throat and you dont feel like you go on living a life of amritdhari just for namesake; you might as well leave your lifestyle of amritdhari and do something where your doing just for namesake but you feel strongly about. If you want to leave this way of lifestyle and not regret your decision you might as well do it as soon as possible then live your life of regret. In life one should do what one feels passionate about not what others force or make you do.