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Waheguru Ji, there is nothing that we cannot move beyond or get through, no matter how bad it seems. I am sorry this has been such a painful struggle. Searching up your symptoms is not the same as seeing a real doctor and someone who can provide you with advice from experience. Dr. Google is wrong in most cases. If you can't talk to your parents, please find someone to talk to that you trust. So I highly recommend you go see someone. Maybe you could take a year off and work instead of going to college, if your family depends on you. If you want to die, I can guarantee that any parent would wish that they were able to help their child in retrospect after they died. In Sikhi, Guru Ji teaches us about the cycle of reincarnation. Your true self isn't this body. I think having some perspective and reading some Hukamnamas may help you. Go into sangat, meet some people. Have you heard of Sarab Rog Ka Aukhad Naam? Look them up, they talk about healing from all causes. Gurbani is healing. Due to the cycle of reincarnation, this human life is special, but you need to figure out how to make it what you need. Otherwise, suicide or dying will not end your pain. Without achieving what you needed (merger with God), you will continue into that cycle. So try to focus on easing your pain and suffering now, go see a doctor, and maybe start reading some Gurbani everyday. I know its not as easy as it sounds when you are in the depths of depression. Everything feels impossible. But that's the depression speaking.