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2015-10-08 18:50:03 -0500 answered a question Prayers doesn't work. I am fed up now

You are very mistaken if you think that Waheguru will give you your desires on a serving plate as you have requested. We all have to work and pray hard for Kirpa from Waheguru. You have to be honest from the core of your being when you pray and not be greedy with your requests. As the previous commentor said *"We forget that everyday we are blessed with food, water, shelter and luxuries, we forget that we've been blessed with this human body and breath, and we forget that even to actually read Guru Ji's bani is a blessing"** You can see Wahegurus Kirpa in many ways but you have to be willing to see it and be grateful. Stay positive and honest and you will be blessed.

2015-10-08 18:33:12 -0500 answered a question Love of my life was in a "living relationship" previously

This is a very important decision for you. One that will affect your married relationship for the rest of your life. I strongly urge you to take time to consider your options. If you cannot forgive her or forget her past then don't punish her by getting married to her and remind her about her sins every day of your married life, it will destroy your marriage and she will probably have to leave you. Remember that she told you the truth when she didn't have to tell you about her past relationships. How many boys/men are truthful to their fianc├ęs about the number of girlfriends they have had? Life is too short to let go of a loving relationship. You clearly love her deeply. If you don't forgive and marry her then someone else will and you will have lost her for ever. We would not be human if we didn't make mistakes, the main thing is she has been honest with you and learned from her mistakes. The only person that can pass judgement is Waheguru himself, we are not put on this earth to punish others for their sins.

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2015-10-08 18:09:45 -0500 answered a question Affairs and marriage

I thought it would be of interest to the Sikhnet community for me to update you on my marriage situation since my last post in 2013. After a lot of heartache, misery and disappointment at my husbands attitude I divorced him this year. I feel liberated and a great sense of achievement at finally making the right choice for mine and my childrens long term wellbeing. Making the choice between living in a loveless marriage and sharing my husband with other women and then trying to justify that to my grown up children and making a clean fresh start with my children was the most sensible thing to do. After all it was my husbands choice to choose other women over the mother of his children. I will not pretend that it was an easy decision. I acknowledge that I have been scarred emotionally for life from my marriage experience and the divorce. I will never trust another man again after the years of betrayal and deceit my husband forced on me. I also understand that my children have been deeply affected by the whole divorce process and they have watched their father change from a loving father to a man who has forgotten that he ever had any children. I stand my decision and believe that over the 23 years of my marriage my husband continued having affairs because I allowed him to continue this kind of abuse and I only threatened to leave him but never had the courage to. Thank you to those two people who took the time to read my post in 2013 and respond and I would finally like to say that I am in a much happier place in my life, my kids are doing well at University, I have continued my faith in Waheguru and feel much closer to him now than I have ever been in my life. Thanks to Waheguru's Kirpa in my journey I have been able to put the past behind me, continue working to support and feed my children.

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2013-11-10 18:52:04 -0500 asked a question Affairs and marriage

As an un baptised sikh woman I married my soul mate 20 years ago whome I worshiped the ground he walked on, only to discover half way through our marriage that he was having an affair. I was very hurt and betrayed and found it very hard not to blame Waheguru himself for my pain. Somehow I found it in my heart, mainly through my weakness and misplaced trust to believe him when he said he was sorry and that he loved me enough to spend the rest of his life with me. Unfortunately years later and after 3 children I discovered in the most cruellest of ways that not only was he still having the affair but with the same woman. I took him back again, and fell for his lies as I could not cope with the thought of a single parent existence. Yet again years later Waheguru brought the truth in front of my eyes again - this time I felt this was a sign from Waheguru telling me to deal with this pain and sort your life out. That is why I am now in the middle of a divorce but it is not final yet. One thing my ordeal has taught me is that attachment is for the weak hearted - I have found a new focus in life that is merciful, abundant with joy and peace and rewarding in a way that I cannot describe. I am not a Amritari Sikh but I believe the strength I have now is coming from the shabads I listen to and the path I do twice a day. Waheguru is everywhere around me and even if my husband has failed me, as long as I have faith in Waheguru I know he will never turn his back on me. My question is as the divorce is not final yet, and my husband is begging to have me back and he is adamant that he has changed and finally got rid of this other woman, should I continue the divorce or should I pay for my bad karma and stay with the man I did my Phera with all those years ago?