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2017-11-26 09:19:34 -0500 asked a question Unhappy marriage

Hi there,

I have been married to a sardar (not amritdhari) man for 7 years now. We have a kid who is 4 years old.

we are very different personalities. But we have let each other do our thing and hence it has worked until now. He has never stopped me from doing anything that i enjoy or like.

I have always felt alone with him physically, emotionally and socially with him. He hardly made love to me in all these years. I cannot confine in him emotionally. But it was ok because i was living by focusing on our kid, my work, and friends and family.

But the problem now is his mother is living with us now and she is very controlling and bossy. She does not say stuff directly but through him. Goes and tells him mom everything. he says, i disobey him. I disrespect him and his mother. I am jealous of his family. I am materialistic if i say we need a bigger place.I feel they want me to be a piece of furniture in the house and just nod. He has never rung my parents in all these years. Rung them for the first time and complained about me. He does not talk to me at all. Even if he does,its materialistic and superficial.

I feel he wants to be in the marriage because of the child only. I feel he has no connection with me on any level. I am a highly qualified perfessional girl who has been living overseas for 15 years.his mother is stereotypical and thinks women are second class. I feel like a door mat.

I am in an unhappy marriage. It was an ok marriage before she came as he was never controlling.

i am so confused as i still love him. He never says, he loves me. I dont see it in his eyes. Is it okay to stay in an unhappy unloving marriage?

Is this time to end this marriage for my and my child’s good? Is it okay for my child to see that mum is not loved in the marriage? I am afraid and scared. My husband is very manipulative and cunning. My child is all i have. Im scared if i choose to end this he may take my child away from me. Iwill die without my kid.

I married him thinking he will love me and would make an effort to do things together. I feel we are alone alone together.

Should i adjust ( as many traditional women have done or do) or should i draw the boundry and stick to what i need from this marriage?

I dont even know anymore what to ask waheguru in my ardaas? I dont know what i want. I feel lost. I got conselling alone ( he will never agree to come or would be raged if he finds out i got it) the counseller says, why do you even want to live ... (more)