Singh23's profile - activity

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I'm going to be talking about a very sensitive topic so please bear with me, I don't think there's anyone else that I can talk to about this issue.

So I met a girl a few months ago and we became best friends, and soon enough we realized that we are both in love with each other and want to get married, which is great. However, the issue is the mistake(s) she has made in her past. She had a boyfriend with whom she was in a living relationship with, although she's living in a foreign country, she belongs to strict Sikh family from India, so she hasn't told anyone else about her previous relationship except me. She cries sometimes because of her mistakes and also tells me that she's not worthy of me and that I deserve/can find someone better than her. She also says that she will be the "..luckiest girl in the world" if we get married. She told me that she can't handle another heart break, that she doesn't want her dreams to be broken again.

I get really angry, sad, upset, worried. .. about her past sometimes, simply because I have waited for her all my life and I expected the same, but what's done in the past cannot be undone, and she also has many regrets. She has also made some other mistakes in her past that I cannot discuss here.... Please don't get me wrong, but I do sometimes feel like 'getting even' by breaking up with her and marrying another girl; that has waited for me just as I have waited for her. It's just that I can't imagine the love of my life loosing her virginity to another guy and then to have 'done it' countless times with him, it upsets me and hurts me probably more than it hurts her.
I still love her with all my heart and can't imagine my life without her. So I usually try to convince myself to think about the beautiful future we can have together. This is not something that I can share with my parents, because they will completely disagree with our marriage, so in a way I will also be lying to my parents by not telling them.

I can tell that she loves me a lot. Her previous boyfriend took great advantage of her innocence and then walked away, got married to another girl. It was his idea to be in a "living relationship" in the first place and initially she refused, but eventually she gave in. So I'm crushed between love and her past now, I am really confused, I want to give her all the happiness in the world, but at the same time I feel that what she has done is wrong, and I shouldn't have to suffer for it. She cannot live without me and I can't ... (more)