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2012-09-25 19:51:45 -0500 asked a question Bad hukam at wedding


I have read from earlier posts that we should take Hukam as God's answer to our questions. I recently got married and the hukam from SGGS was one of pain, suffering and crying..It has now been three months and it has been terrible. we fight almost every week and it seems that it was a bad decision to go through with this marriage.

Does such a hukam signify that the marriage will always be of suffering and pain? Is there any way this suffering can be overcome and bring peace and harmony to this relationship?

2012-08-30 22:28:27 -0500 asked a question Greedy in-laws

Sat sri akal ji,

I finally come here to ask for guidance.I would really appreciate your response regarding my situation. Sorry it’s a bit long but I thought it was important to explain the situation properly. Can i please ask you to keep this confidential and reply to me on email. Thanks.

I am a sikh girl born in India and then moved to an overseas country. I have adapted to the new country but at the same time tried to keep my family and cultural values aswell. Waheguru has given me a lot of things, i am well educated, have a good job, have good caring and loving family. I recently got married about 2 months ago. Our families introduced us. we got married after 10 months talking and getting to know each other. In those 10 months before marriage, I came to know little bit about my husband. He is born in this country so is very much westernized, however he used to tell me that he wanted to marry someone like me who will keep him close to his roots. he seemed like a good person at heart, although I realised he had some anger problems and we had different attitude towards life and things in general. At the time I thought it wasn’t a big issue and was something we could work on together once married as there are always adjustments to be made.

My husband has a different mindset and was not very fond of my father before marriage. After marriage, it has turned into a complete disrespect where he doesn’t want to talk to my parents at all :-(. He used to tell me he didn’t like the way my father did things, which I believed was due to generation gap and my father being a bit pushy at times.

I got married in to a different caste family. In my in-laws family they have a lot of giving gifts to the boy and his family. Prior to the marriage, we had a few disagreements in terms of who does what for the in my in-laws expected highly of my parents to pay for a grand wedding…my father refused saying he cannot afford husband got pissed off on this, we had a huge argument on this and broke up.i had moved on however he came back to me and convinced me that he still wanted to be with me, that he’d keep me happy and although he didn’t like my parents we’d work it out. I got convinced and agreed to marry him…(which now seems like a huge mistake..:-(

Since we got married, we’ve been having arguments on finances constantly. My husband added his name to my account and started using my account openly 2 weeks after the wedding. I say my account because although we joined the account but it was only my salary coming in at the ... (more)