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2012-08-25 23:10:55 -0600 asked a question Social anxiety inner torture

Ive been bullied as a kid, didn't talk much through out high shool, didn't develop those deep friendship relationships with people. I was very insecure, felt very isolated & was vulnerable. Then I was blessed with Sikhi when I started attending sangat listening to Sant Baba Baldev Singh Ji from Balandpuri. It has made me into a much more stronger person but I still have some social anxiety. I can't carry on a meaningful conversation, I'm not a fun person to be around, I can't be myself around people. In large groups of people I feel like I am living in the past again, I get totally quiet, I feel unwanted. My cousin got married last year and while everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, being social, talking about a variety of topics, sports, news, etc. I felt all alone, some people tried talking to me, but I couldn't carry on a conversation, I was only able to reply with a couple words back and couldn't think of anything else to say. This is inner torture to me, sometimes I feel suicidal. I don't see the point of living, people don't seem to have this problem at all. There are such complex people who can talk about such complex topics, using technical vocabulary to articulate deep sentences. I can understand everything people say, I just cant think of anything to talk about. I feel like this is a disorder called Expressive language disorder, I read a lot but I can't seem to remember words, I can't seem to express my train of thoughts into proper speech. I don't feel like returning missed calls, I try to avoid social situations as much as possible. I have no social life. How am I suppose to make any friends like this? How am I suppose to find a women? How can I have a successful entrepreneurial career I've always wanted like this? How long will I live through this torture?

2012-08-25 22:35:44 -0600 asked a question Don't want to lose this women? Any help?

Hi, sorry my last post was too long, I went into too much detail. I'm going to re-post my problem, so I basically moved to Alberta from BC couple of months ago and met this girl I am really into. I met her at her work place and we ended up exchanging contact information. She was really into me to as well, we had talked for about a month, had some laughs, some serious convo's and then there some things we didn't agree with but at the end of the day I feel like she is the type of girl I am into. After a month every thing changed, her vibe changed, we only talked about once a week, she wouldn't txt me her self or call me anymore. I felt very blessed to have her in my life, for the first time in my life I met somebody I was into who was into me as well. It's been so long since I've met a women in my life who I could talk to. I feel so very lonely and isolated, sometimes I cry to my self. I don't know what turned her off about me, its been over a month since we've talked, I really wanted to know this women on a deeper level. I've had a lot of insecurities as a kid/teenage growing up, and Sikhi has really made me into a stronger person, but now I feel insecure again. All I know is this girl was into me and now she isn't. I don't want to lose her out of my life, I go to the Gurdwara everyday, try to recite half of Sukhimani sahib each day, about 5-6 chaupai sahibs. I just pray to lord waheguru that may he bring this women back into my life. I would also like to recite shabads, can anyone suggest any shabads to me I can chant/recite specific to love & this prayer? Satnam.

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2012-08-25 10:17:59 -0600 asked a question Don't want to lose this women in my life.

I'm a 23 year old Canadian born Sikh. I recently moved to Alberta alone from BC about 4 months ago. I have extended family such as cousins and an uncle living here but I feel very lonely in terms of a social life with friends & love. A month after I moved to Alberta, I was shopping at a local grocery store when this women approached me asking me if I have a cell phone deal, I did need one so I walked along with her to her workplace kiosk and started talking to her co-worker about specific plans. As I was talking to her co-worker, I felt a real attraction to this women and even though I did not talk to her much I also felt the same vibe from her. I left the store exchanging smiles with her. The following days, this girl kept on crossing my mind. It is not easy meeting a women that is your type these days, it's been years since I have been longing to meet a good girl who I can develop a relationship with or just be good friends, I would get depressed and sometimes shed tears every time I used to be with my friends and they would be talking to their girlfriends. The feeling of loneliness & isolation just breaks me down & the only thing that keeps me strong is the Guru. So carrying on with my story, after a couple of days I went back to her work place, I wanted to confirm if she really had the same attraction to me. Again I started talking to her co-worker and when she saw me she smiled again, excited to see me and very tuned into what we were talking about. Every time I looked at her, I would get a smile, so I confirmed my thoughts & now I knew I had to get her contact information somehow. Again, I went back to the store a week later, this time she was working alone so I approached her and introduced my self. I had butterflies in my stomach, it was an awkward conversation but we ended up exchanging contact info and I left shaking her hand, I could tell she was shy. This was the first time I had approached a girl I was interested in who was also interested in me, it felt kind of liberating, I thanked god. So for the first month we had great convo's over the phone, I knew she was into me, I was into her to, I really wanted to take this very slowly and not rush things. We had short talks, some very just goofy, some were serious, she would talk about her ex boyfriends, what she liked in a man and so forth. Shes 19, she has a lot of qualities that I like in her and some that I prefer not but nobodies perfect. She took the wrong bus from work one day and got very nervous and ... (more)