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Hi! I am 21 year old girl and I want to move out from my house. The reasons are my mom had a second marriage and my step-dad (never seen or know anything about my real father) raped me since the age of 7 I was not able to understand till the age of 12 what was happening all I knew was that I didn’t want him to hurt me further. Since my mom did night shifts but when she quit work one day I mustered up the courage to tell her what was happening, around the age of 11. She told me to keep quiet and the same happened again when she returned back to work. But it was worse because since I had told my mom about it and she literally did nothing other than scream at him once. So he continued his abuse openly now and then every week he would kick my mom out of bed and take me from my room and rape me once, twice, or thrice a week as he pleased. My mom would just sleep beside my little sister and watch it all happen in the same room. Somedays it hurt so bad I would get up naked walk in the house and look for ways to kill myself. I am the only child from the first marriage the other two children belong to him even they hate their father for all he has done to me. At the age of 18 when I thought I had hope to go off to university and get far from this horror he didn’t let that happen every time I had an exam in grade 12 he would wake me up and beat me make sure I wouldn’t sleep. I still somehow managed to get a good gpa but he didn’t let that happen. Said there were financial problems so I couldn’t go to university and neither did he let me save up or do any job. I wasn’t allowed to have more than one female friend or even stay after school 5 mins extra for help not allowed to socialize with any family. He isn’t worth calling a monster he has done way more beyond that I was staying in the house so maybe I can could encourage my mom but she isn’t willing to move on. One day it got soo out of hand my brother called the cops while he was beating and I reported him for domestic violence and then he broke that prohibition entered the house and beat my mom with my step-aunt. All this happened just in begining of 2015. I thought this would make my mom realize she isn’t weak she can be independent but all she does is chase him and thinks he will change or has changed I know he hasn’t. He will be able to enter the house in February again all my mother is after is money and what people will say. I cant take these suffocations further I don’t care how he made up fake stories about me wanting to live alone so I can be a bitch that’s what he calls me. I really don’t care if no indian will want to marry me. I just want to have happiness and live a normal life, I know it’ll be hard but I’m willing to work two jobs just to get away from this pain. The only thing is my guilt conscious of leaving my mother but if she doesn’t want help, how can I help her? Knowing she will push me into the same hole. Will God still punish me for leaving my mother or am I too selfish??