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I am suffering from guilt and depression from past few months. I had made a lot of mistakes in past 6 yrs, never realized them earlier. Now I have the realization, and it seems to me that I am an obnoxious weed in my surroundings and even in the world..i shouldn't live any longer. Though I won't commit suicide, because its the biggest sin one can ever commit...but I pray to Waheguruji plz don't let me live any longer

I am suffering from guilt and depression from past few months. I had made a lot of mistakes in past 6 yrs, never realized them earlier. Now I have the realization, and it seems to me that I am an obnoxious weed in my surroundings and even in the world..i shouldn't live any longer. Though I won't commit suicide, because its the biggest sin one can ever commit...but I pray to Waheguruji plz don't let me live any longerlonger I have started Naam simran from past few months and I have now started doing Sehaj Paath also. I have bowed infront of Guru sahib and asked for forgiveness and I have sought forgiveness from every one I thought I have hurt either in person or mentally yet I don't feel relieved. I just can't digest that I had fallen so low, I have hurt so many people with my harsh words, I have been into false judgments,slandering people and much more I didn't know what I am doing. But now I have realized how badly I have pierced so many hearts. I had never thought I m so bad. I am not able to accept this aspect of mine and I can't forgive myself what should I do?