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Boyfriend and regrets

Ssa ji my sikh sisters and brothers, i really need your help. When I was 15 I fell in love with a boy. We had a relationship but he was really bad and disrespectfull against my family and me. Now im 18 and i really regret this relationship, i feel really dirty ( we kissed but nothing more ) and i betrayed my family, who does everything for me, for him. He was a really bad influence and i even had to repeat the class because i never went to school. Now 3 years later i feel so bad and could cry all the time, how could i betray my family, how could i be in a relationship..i feel like i have no pride anymore.. Please help me how can i feel better. I fell so unpure and dirty..He also was offensive against my mother but i stand by his side and i just dont know why..