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About Marriage

hi i am 25 jatt sikh girl and i am in relationship with a rajput. Its been almost 3 years. I told my mom that i wanna get married to him but she said its impossible because he is not jatt. she threatened me that my brother and dad will kill me if they will know about this. But me and him think differently. His family does not care if i am jatt or not and they go to Gurudwara Sahib. Our guru is same so why all this jaat paat matters? I do not know what should I do to make them understand this or how to change their thinking about this.