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Closure for my Late Grandmother.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh to all!

First off, a short Grandmother recently passed away [September 13, 2013 during Amrit Vela]. She passed due to a "massive heart attack." A heads up, this is going to be a long one because I feel it's important for me to release my thoughts somewhere thus, I was lead to this forum that I've never seen before.

On September 11, 2013, my mother decided to invite a few ladies over to our home to chant the words of the Sukhmani Sahib alongside other Prayers which were specifically performed in our basement. From the years of my upbringing, my Grandmother didn't seem like she had a huge interest in Praying, and she usually would complain about her feet swelling if sitting cross legged on the floor or the legs being in a vertical position whenever we offered to take her to the Gurudwara Sahib - we found it to be her excuse not to go! While none of us really noticed, she participated in the Prayer at our home that day and did not complain once. We distributed Langar as well and she actually did Seva and made sure everyone had ate before she ate. She enjoyed every single dish my mother made. She passed the day in a happy state and she was all dressed up wearing her favourite jewelry. In the evening, my Grandfather & Grandmother were enjoying their early evening and she asked him if the weather was okay to walk in. He said "it's not super hot, you can walk around our street if you want." My Grandmother couldn't handle extra warm weather (she has fallen a couple of times due to it) so it was unusual for her to even ask my Grandfather that! My mother & siblings were heading out to buy a few school supplies when my sister accidentally left the keys in the door, she told my Grandmother to take them out. At this point, my Grandfather was reciting prayer, dad was on the way home from work, I was studying in the basement. Two minutes after my mother & siblings left, I heard a huge thud. I thought great, what did Mummyji [that's what I called her] drop on the ground now? Don't get me wrong - she was a wonderful woman, but a little silly and clumsy. I ran upstairs to the kitchen and didn't see her. Then I turn my head and she's on the ground on the floor of my laundry room. Unconscious. There is one step down to get to the laundry room. Her feet were above the step (on the tiles) and the rest of the body was slanted on the laundry room floor. I thought she casually fell because I've seen her fall before. I ran to look at her and something didn't look normal. I've personally never dealt with such a situation, so I tried to keep calm and my head clear, thinking rationally. At this point, her pulse was working, her heart was beating slowly, her eyes were rolling back and she was making noises with her mouth (struggling to talk), but couldn't say any words. Before she took her last few breaths, I called my Grandfather immediately and he came down as fast as he could. She dug her nails into my skin and I could evidently see that life was being taken out of her. She wasn't responding to us and stopped making noises, her eyes fully rolled back, her heart stopped, her mouth was wide open. I was already on the phone with 911, did CPR to the best of my ability. Ambulance arrived, tried their procedure and pretty much declared that she was deceased. Our option was to take her to the hospital or have a doctor come to our house. The hospital is what we chose. My father & Grandfather both went. I prayed. I tried everything to the best of my ability to hope for her to be alive and okay. An hour later, we got a phone call. I could tell it wasn't a good one. The doctor had called to pretty much say that she's passed away, but wouldn't tell my mother and the conversation ended. Apparently the doctor wanted to speak to which ever family had came to the hospital with my Grandmother. I prayed again. I had a gut feeling to call my father and so I did. Thank GOD, she was breathing on life support - it's what my father said when I spoke to him over the phone. I know it was the prayer and hope that we all did & had. I just found it a little unbelievable that she was breathing after the paramedics had declared she died. Basically my Grandmother remained in critical condition and the doctor had suggested that all of her close family should come see her because anything could happen. Time passed and she only made one foot movement, but did not wake up. She was breathing, but was in a coma pretty much. On September 12th, all of us family members of hers went to the hospital and gave our love to her while her soul was present in her body. Saddened, we all tried our best to stay positive, pray and hope for the best. My younger sister and Grandfather stayed in the hospital over night. My sister was acting strange and did not feel okay to leave my Grandfather alone at the hospital so she stayed. On September 13th at 3:59AM, my Grandmother passed away. My family called me in tears. I didn't cry. I was numb. Thanks to God, I have been growing spiritually and have somewhat of an understanding of the cycle of life which kept me in a strong state. I tried my best to keep a positive mind for my family.

Now this leads to Q's I had in my mind. My father has been growing on his Spiritual path as well so, I decided to get some insight. I asked him, out of everyone, why was I the one to find my Grandmother and try saving her life? What he responded with made me ball my eyes out!

When I was in GR2, my Grandmother & I, my friend & her mother were walking to school to drop me and my friend off. This was during the winter. My Grandmother fell on the ice and I was so embarassed to pick her up, I turned my head and my friend's mother picked her up. The entire day, I felt guilt. I went home afterschool and my Grandfather was kidding around and saying that she's in the hospital (I actually believed it). She was completely okay though. Throughout my entire life, she always brought up the fact that I never picked her up and we would laugh about it each time. My Father told me that it was written by God for me to return the favour and my intuition tells me that my dad was right.

Also, as most of us know, every event has a time, space, sequence and place. My Mother decided to take off a week just for relaxation that particular week. She decided to do a prayer at home. That same day, my Grandmother literally did pass away (it was a miracle that God brought her soul back to her body for us all to say goodbye before she finally left). Only God knows right. Maybe the prayer was for my Grandmother...

At times, it shocks me that she is really gone. I just want to know what her soul is upto. What's her next journey? Even though she has left physical form, I wish I knew where she was right now. I feel like I need closure.

This is more of a release of emotions and thoughts opposed to Q's that I didn't really get to express to anyone. So, I would appreciate any words to comfort this situation or any sort of Spiritual aspect relevant to this!

Much appreciated.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!