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anxiety and confusion

satshriakalji,

i been struggling with a lot of confusion and anxiety.i was hospitalized for major depression.its been few months ,i am on therapy and medication.i get thoughts about suicide. i usually get thoughts that i am bad and all the bad things i can ever imagine are happening ..i sometimes think that its my karam .i started doing gurbani and my faith seems to not connect properly.i seriously want to understand that why its happening and wat should i do..i knw that waheguru is everywhere and he is guiding us.But,still i get all the bad thoughts in my mind..please help me ..