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Want to be no more amritdhari what to do pls suggest

As in our family, firstly my brother take Amrit and become amritdhari dhari at that time I doesn't want to be any more amritdhari but as time passes a situation come in my life I get attached to become amritdhari and after taking Amrit some how I feel great but after that slowly slowly I am losing my rehat ..... After that due to some reasons..... And now I found my self feeling that I don't want to be amritdhari dhari any more ......bz I am not able to handle rehat...and doesn't want to wear kirpan anymore.... What to do ......any suggestions...

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Want to be no more amritdhari what to do pls suggest

As in our family, firstly my brother take Amrit and become amritdhari dhari at that time I doesn't want to be any more amritdhari but as time passes a situation come in my life I get attached to become amritdhari and after taking Amrit some how I feel great but after that slowly slowly I am losing my rehat ..... After that due to some reasons..... And now I found my self feeling that I don't want to be amritdhari dhari any more ......bz I am not able to handle rehat...and doesn't want to wear kirpan anymore.... What to do ......any suggestions...