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 | 1 | initial version |
More advice? Plse
I have been this website for advice which has been very good compared to some peopel who i thought were close friends and family. Since I lost my dear dear wife due to breast cancer last nov 2016, It has been very hard trying to be both mother and father to my 2 boys who are 14 and 11. As i wish to be independent and not look for permanent help from Mum and sisters, as they have things to do as well.e.g if i rely on mum 100% for food/dinner and then one day she decides to go on holiday to visit relatives etc. then for the days she is not here I am completely stuck! So i have learned to do some cooking as well as making chapati's roti's with the help of my 11 yrs old, he loves cooking baking and we do this together i enjoy that as well. So we are always in the kitchen father and son cooking and trying something. We also spend alot of time together, like going to the park and the gurudwara, doing seva, cutting vegetables, recording kirtan and then downlaoding it on the internet. We are Ramgharia and I know nobody can replace the mother of my children. I would like my children know and follow Sikhism, learn Gurmukhi and play an instrument at the Gurudwara later in life. despite all the odds I am finding it hard to live this life without a partner. And most days the children are on the computer doing their school work or playing games with their friends. with some outdoor activities. I have found another lady with a son of 7yrs old she is 32 and i am 49 but like any other person she would like a better life for herself and child outside India. She is from the Ravidas Community, I know very well that all the Gurujis teachings were about Equality and humanity. The girls family are happy with this but if they have any other devious reasons to do this marriage I would not know. She seems like a really nice person too, hard working single mum at the moment. My question is should these things about caste still matter in todays times? If our marriage is a success bringing the family up, with benefits to both of us. The main priority is our children. Looking after them and bringing them with excellent Sikhi. Like everthing else in life a person does not embark ona journey first thinking that they might have an accident? I strongly feel that I can do this and look after her son as my own after all she will be going away from her family in India and move to the UK permanently. Apart from having a better life in London work or start our own business, enjoy all the benefits of being with a loving caring husband, I have also seen Amrithari Sikhs divorcing? I wonder why? If all this makes sense plse help advice...And what to do or look for to try and find how genuine she is? or her family?
| | 2 | No.2 Revision |
More advice? Plse
I have been this website for advice which has been very good compared to some peopel who i thought were close friends and family. Since I lost my dear dear wife due to breast cancer last nov 2016, It has been very hard trying to be both mother and father to my 2 boys who are 14 and 11. As i wish to be independent and not look for permanent help from Mum and sisters, as they have things to do as well.e.g if i rely on mum 100% for food/dinner and then one day she decides to go on holiday to visit relatives etc. then for the days she is not here I am completely stuck! So i have learned to do some cooking as well as making chapati's roti's with the help of my 11 yrs old, he loves cooking baking and we do this together i enjoy that as well. So we are always in the kitchen father and son cooking and trying something. We also spend alot of time together, like going to the park and the gurudwara, doing seva, cutting vegetables, recording kirtan and then downlaoding it on the internet. We are Ramgharia and I know nobody can replace the mother of my children. I would like my children know and follow Sikhism, learn Gurmukhi and play an instrument at the Gurudwara later in life. despite all the odds I am finding it hard to live this life without a partner. And most days the children are on the computer doing their school work or playing games with their friends. with some outdoor activities. I have found another lady with a son of 7yrs old she is 32 and i am 49 but like any other person she would like a better life for herself and child outside India. She is from the Ravidas Community, I know very well that all the Gurujis teachings were about Equality and humanity. The girls family are happy with this but if they have any other devious reasons to do this marriage I would not know. She seems like a really nice person too, hard working single mum at the moment. My question is should these things about caste still matter in todays times? If our marriage is a success bringing the family up, with benefits to both of us. The main priority is our children. Looking after them and bringing them with excellent Sikhi. Like everthing else in life a person does not embark ona journey first thinking that they might have an accident? I strongly feel that I can do this and look after her son as my own after all she will be going away from her family in India and move to the UK permanently. Apart from having a better life in London work or start our own business, enjoy all the benefits of being with a loving caring husband, I have also seen Amrithari Sikhs divorcing? I wonder why? If all this makes sense plse help advice...And what to do or look for to try and find how genuine she is? or her family?
| | 3 | retagged |
More advice? Plse
I have been this website for advice which has been very good compared to some peopel who i thought were close friends and family. Since I lost my dear dear wife due to breast cancer last nov 2016, It has been very hard trying to be both mother and father to my 2 boys who are 14 and 11. As i wish to be independent and not look for permanent help from Mum and sisters, as they have things to do as well.e.g if i rely on mum 100% for food/dinner and then one day she decides to go on holiday to visit relatives etc. then for the days she is not here I am completely stuck! So i have learned to do some cooking as well as making chapati's roti's with the help of my 11 yrs old, he loves cooking baking and we do this together i enjoy that as well. So we are always in the kitchen father and son cooking and trying something. We also spend alot of time together, like going to the park and the gurudwara, doing seva, cutting vegetables, recording kirtan and then downlaoding it on the internet. We are Ramgharia and I know nobody can replace the mother of my children. I would like my children know and follow Sikhism, learn Gurmukhi and play an instrument at the Gurudwara later in life. despite all the odds I am finding it hard to live this life without a partner. And most days the children are on the computer doing their school work or playing games with their friends. with some outdoor activities. I have found another lady with a son of 7yrs old she is 32 and i am 49 but like any other person she would like a better life for herself and child outside India. She is from the Ravidas Community, I know very well that all the Gurujis teachings were about Equality and humanity. The girls family are happy with this but if they have any other devious reasons to do this marriage I would not know. She seems like a really nice person too, hard working single mum at the moment. My question is should these things about caste still matter in todays times? If our marriage is a success bringing the family up, with benefits to both of us. The main priority is our children. Looking after them and bringing them with excellent Sikhi. Like everthing else in life a person does not embark ona journey first thinking that they might have an accident? I strongly feel that I can do this and look after her son as my own after all she will be going away from her family in India and move to the UK permanently. Apart from having a better life in London work or start our own business, enjoy all the benefits of being with a loving caring husband, I have also seen Amrithari Sikhs divorcing? I wonder why? If all this makes sense plse help advice...And what to do or look for to try and find how genuine she is? or her family?
| | 4 | No.4 Revision |
More advice? PlseRemarriage after becoming a widower?
Dear Strongkaur and all helpful SIkhs , You have been very good with advice, thank you so much, I was speaking to a Granthi friend of mine and he was telling me you will always have problems disciplining her child and this could create division and misunderstanding in the future. I did tell her that my family is incomplete without a girl child, and she said 2 of yours and 1 of mine 3 is enough! I dont really know what to do! I'd ask her about what she would like to do when she gets here she says i need to take a break first! then think! as you may know living in these western countries is not easy, just managing key household expenses is becoming tough! I am also doing a couse in Health Sciences and a Course in Nutrition this can help me get a better job in London etc...if not I could migrate to US or other place! my younger brother lives in canada and I am sure he can help if he can see that I haveraised my education qualifications and can get decent wages etc. The Granthi has a relative who is widowed and he would like me to marry her as she has no child. My kids are here in London and she is in Phagwara Punjab India. But my younger son would love to have a little brother or sister! She doesnt talk much about her divorce but says that er husband was involved in drugs etc. and thats why she left him. and her brother and family support her so there must be truth in that part of the story! Long term goals... I have no idea! I have plans but only see myself working hard and progressing well pulling my family cart by myself and it may carry on like that... there will be some benefits of a woman being home ...after the kids get home feom school etc and i can have a full time job... some advantages and i dont know what disadvantages! but i am hoping things will get better! I am still morning my wifes death! its hard! being a widower, with 2 children and not support from family etc! Plse help!
I have been this website for advice which has been very good compared to some peopel who i thought were close friends and family. Since I lost my dear dear wife due to breast cancer last nov 2016, It has been very hard trying to be both mother and father to my 2 boys who are 14 and 11. As i wish to be independent and not look for permanent help from Mum and sisters, as they have things to do as well.e.g if i rely on mum 100% for food/dinner and then one day she decides to go on holiday to visit relatives etc. then for the days she is not here I am completely stuck! So i have learned to do some cooking as well as making chapati's roti's with the help of my 11 yrs old, he loves cooking baking and we do this together i enjoy that as well. So we are always in the kitchen father and son cooking and trying something. We also spend alot of time together, like going to the park and the gurudwara, doing seva, cutting vegetables, recording kirtan and then downlaoding it on the internet. We are Ramgharia and I know nobody can replace the mother of my children. I would like my children know and follow Sikhism, learn Gurmukhi and play an instrument at the Gurudwara later in life. despite all the odds I am finding it hard to live this life without a partner. And most days the children are on the computer doing their school work or playing games with their friends. with some outdoor activities. I have found another lady with a son of 7yrs old she is 32 and i am 49 but like any other person she would like a better life for herself and child outside India. She is from the Ravidas Community, I know very well that all the Gurujis teachings were about Equality and humanity. The girls family are happy with this but if they have any other devious reasons to do this marriage I would not know. She seems like a really nice person too, hard working single mum at the moment. My question is should these things about caste still matter in todays times? If our marriage is a success bringing the family up, with benefits to both of us. The main priority is our children. Looking after them and bringing them with excellent Sikhi. Like everthing else in life a person does not embark ona journey first thinking that they might have an accident? I strongly feel that I can do this and look after her son as my own after all she will be going away from her family in India and move to the UK permanently. Apart from having a better life in London work or start our own business, enjoy all the benefits of being with a loving caring husband, I have also seen Amrithari Sikhs divorcing? I wonder why? If all this makes sense plse help advice...And what to do or look for to try and find how genuine she is? or her family?