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how do i let people go if they hurt me?

asked 2016-06-25 16:31:12 -0600

sikhwarrior gravatar image

I'm a compassionate and understanding person and right now it's hurting me. I give love and understanding and compassion to people who hurt me/are abusive (provided i care about them.) I simply don't have the ability to hate or hold it against them because they have earned my trust/love and then if they treat me badly after that i don't know how to let them go to protect myself from further harm. These are people who tell me that "X" behaviour of mine is the reason why they treat me this way. And therefore i spend my time feeling guilty about not being able to take back what i said or did that hurt that person, and i apologize, but i blame their abuse on myself. Something in my brain tells me that its not me- i'm not at fault, but i've gone through so much now i can't think clearly. I give more and more understaning that perhaps that person is going through a hard time, was hurt by what i did, and i excuse what they do to me. How do i let the people go who are hurting me?

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answered 2016-06-25 20:53:28 -0600

Kaur11 gravatar image

Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa waheguru Ji ke fateh

What you need to do is that before you try to go back to the person who abused you you need to say to yourself this person has hurt me so many times and you do not want to be hurt once more. You need to completely ignore this person you will not give this person another chance. Don't talk or respond to the notes that this person may try to do. If you respond to this person then you will want to go back to this person. You have other people who really care about you in life your family and waheguru. Don't be upset because what this person did isn't your fault. People are responsible for there own actions and if you didn't abuse this person then you shouldn't feel upset at all. Do an Arddas to waheguru to give you strength. I hope I helped.

Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa waheguru Ji ke fateh

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thanks for your comment

sikhwarrior gravatar imagesikhwarrior ( 2016-06-25 23:45:31 -0600 )edit

Your welcome I'm happy I helped

Kaur11 gravatar imageKaur11 ( 2016-06-26 20:58:26 -0600 )edit

answered 2018-01-31 15:40:07 -0600

amangahunia gravatar image

It is difficult to understand the reasons another person has hurt you. From what you have mentioned, it seems as if you have tried numerous of times to reconcile your differences with this person, but there has been no solution. You need to part your ways at this point. It hurts you to accept this, but for your own personal wellbeing it is the best thing to do. I would put some of your energy into paath to strengthen your mind and to find personal meaning of your experiences. I wouldn't try investing anymore energy into that person because it is obviously depleting your energy levels and making you feel ill. Try doing things that will make you feel happy and make you whole again. Do whatever you enjoy. Try volunteering - this can be an rewarding experience by giving back to others. You will feel better and it will occupy your mind. Join a gym. Find a new hobby. The most important thing - be creative with your energy. Never allow anyone to take away from your soul power and energy. Know who you are and speak with compassion.

If you feel after a certain amount of time has passed, you would like to approach that person with a calm mind then go for it. It can be done, however protect yourself first. If at any time you feel this person is trying to threaten you then with a rational mind part your ways. It is obviously not working and nothing can be done.

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Asked: 2016-06-25 16:31:12 -0600

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Last updated: Jan 31 '18