I was talking to a 17 year old boy living in Surrey who got his Sikh girlfriend pregnant, her parents are furious and they want him to convert to Sikhism and marry her and move in, any advice I should give him?
Firstly, I don’t know your relationship to the couple. It can be hard for people to make decisions when there are too many people offering their own opinions and input instead of supporting them in figuring out their options. Please offer that support instead of pushing or pressuring. In my opinion, what’s right and wrong in this situation isn’t determined by other people on forums etc. but needs to be decided by the couple, who knows all the factors at play. Encourage them to talk about their options, because at the end of the day it’s not anyone else that has to live with that decision. It’s that boy and that girl that has to live with what they decide. Some questions they need to think about is how do each of them feel about marriage? Adoption? Are family members willing to offer help financially, housing, or willing to help raise the child (how much support is there)? Is the girl willing to raise the child as a single mother? What’s the financial situation? Where would they live? Are they able to provide the child with what it needs? How does he feel about converting to Sikhism, what does he know about Sikhism? Personal values and beliefs come into play. Forcing him to convert to Sikhism and marry her doesn’t solve everything. He needs to make that decision himself. Other people will offer their opinions based on their own life advice (seems like what her parents are doing), in order to help them come to a decision. But it shouldn’t be by force. It’s that boy and girl who need to figure this out and talk about the consequences (pros/cons) of each of their potential options and realistically factor in their life circumstances to figure out what to do next.
Looking like a Sikh does not make someone a Sikh. Since this boy has already exhibited irresponsibility, it would be foolhardy to expect him to suddenly become a responsible person. He is only 17. I suspect that neither the girl nor the boy is ready for marriage. Even if they did so, it will not be a secure home for this child. Right now, the child is the priority. The child must grow up in a secure home of other family members.
Asked: 2016-03-22 04:46:38 -0500
Seen: 540 times
Last updated: Mar 22 '16
