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Relationship before Anand-Karaj

asked 2016-02-20 01:15:51 -0600

GuruKaDaas gravatar image

updated 2016-02-21 21:40:50 -0600

I am an amritdhari boy of 21 years of age. I love a girl and she loves me too very much. I have done a kurehat with her by kissing her intimately as she is not my wife and non-amritdhari too. I have gone to panj pyare and felt sorry for the same and retaken the amrit. but i want to ask if it is ok to love someone if we dont do anything physical before anand-karaj. I am getting really different answers from forums and blogs. I am really confused. I am suffering from OCD/Pure-O thus I am not coming to a certain decision. I have told her also about this and she said we can try to remain friends before marriage but it is a bit difficult to go back to the relation as best friends from being lovers. Is it ok to love someone from pure heart when we have a full developed idea of marrying in our mind and not some time pass ? And I also have told my parents about that girl and they have no problem. But the question is that is it a kurehat to have love,respect and feeling for someone(nothing physical only love and respect for one another) before anand karaj, is it against the sikhi ? plz guide as I am not getting a definite answer..

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answered 2016-02-20 03:23:55 -0600

Baagi Singh gravatar image

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh

khalsa ji i totally understand whats in your mind and what you are worrying about but according to the matt guru sahib gave me having a physical relation is kurehet but having a kiss or having a love in your heart for some one is not considered in the kurehet

if you love her keep the relationship intact but dont do any physical things before marriage i know guru sahib ji sikhya says something else but in our age its normal to have those feeling to love some one i am 22 and i am in love with a singhni to but we make sure that we never cross our limits before marriage

if you guys are sure you guys are gonna marry each other one day then keep everything normal and try tht your girlfriend /singhni take amrit asap just to keep things on right tracks dont force her the day she will realise its the time then make your move and help her but till then keep everything normal.

bhul chuk maff krna

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh

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waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh brother.. thanks for the reply.. and yes there will be no physical contact between me and her.. I was just concerned about the emotional intimacy.. Thanks

GuruKaDaas gravatar imageGuruKaDaas ( 2016-02-20 06:48:52 -0600 )edit
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answered 2016-02-20 13:29:50 -0600

strongKaur gravatar image

WJKK WJKF I don’t think there is anything wrong with loving someone before you get married. I’m glad you have discussed marriage and told your parents. Emotional intimacy is fine. Always remember too much of one thing in excess isn’t good including sexual thoughts and attachment- remember your connection to God. Something to think about though is having a friendship with her before you get married because you don’t want your relationship to be just based on physical attraction. (As you have mentioned respecting her means not having sex before you get married. “She said we can try to remain friends before marriage but it is difficult”- difficult because she doesn’t want to wait to have a physical relationship before marriage or difficult because she doesn’t want to wait to have an emotional connection? If the temptation to have a physical relationship with her is too much try spending time in a group setting with your family or other friends around. Anyways, your question was about emotional closeness but I thought I’d put that in there. ) Bhul chuk maaf karna WJKK WJKF

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WJKK WJKF Thanks a lot g. I really liked what you said in a straight forward way :-) . Waheguru Mehr karan..

GuruKaDaas gravatar imageGuruKaDaas ( 2016-02-21 21:37:52 -0600 )edit
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answered 2016-03-08 14:18:37 -0600

gn gravatar image

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

I have Pure-O as well, so I know how you feel when making decisions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3kAS...

Watch the above video, if you are still confused do Ardaas and take a Hukamnama.

Sat Sri Akaal

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answered 2016-05-20 04:11:47 -0600

sim gill gravatar image

can anyone explain me what is ocd/pure-o..???' sry in advance if i asked wrong question.. i m new here

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Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a common, chronic and long-lasting disorder in which a person has uncontrollable, reoccurring thoughts (obsessions) and behaviors (compulsions) that he or she feels the urge to repeat over and over.

gn gravatar imagegn ( 2016-05-23 10:45:00 -0600 )edit

There are many different types of OCD, for example OCD relating to religion where you keep getting thoughts of blasphemous. OCD can also make you indecisive, so it really messes with you when making certain decisions.

gn gravatar imagegn ( 2016-05-23 10:47:24 -0600 )edit

thnq.. gn .

sim gill gravatar imagesim gill ( 2016-05-23 11:32:33 -0600 )edit

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Asked: 2016-02-20 01:15:51 -0600

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Last updated: May 20 '16