My horrible desire

asked 2015-11-25 19:46:52 -0500

updated 2015-11-27 08:12:56 -0500

Cloud
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I admire sikhs for their courage and strenghth.

They explain the truth and how to achieve it. The sikhs have amazing courage and excellent dedication. I admire the way their community to be strong in times of hardships. But me, I can only bow my head in shame. My heart drowns in lust, my mind overwelmed by illusion and my soul tries to fight the illusion. But what is the illusion, If I can not see it, how do I fight it?

I cut my hair, I eat meat and I am a sinner. Right now I live in hell and I dont know how to merge with God. I go to sleep in tears. Whoever I ask just tells me the same thing:

Yo are only thirteen, study hard! Im foolish stupid and weak I dont know much, Im a horrible person, but i do know this, and although it says on my birth certificate i am a Singh. But I know that in truth, I am not a Singh at all. I have no dignity, I deserve no respect, I am the true low caste, and I am a sinner. What would a true Singh or Kaur tell me?

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answered 2015-11-26 16:26:59 -0500

gn
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Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

A true Singh/Kaur will tell you that you are Guru Gobind Singh Ji son.

Your lucky you are a Sikh, Dhan Guru Nanak Dev Ji mahraj forgive the worst sinners such as thieves and cannibals. Don't beat yourself the only thing that is going to do is make you feel down and waste your time. At young ages lust is ver very strong as we grow older it changes to the other 4 thieves anger, greed, attachment and egotism.

The illusion will become clear once you start doing Waheguru simran and start doing some prayers. We can't fight it, only through Guru Ji's help can we control it.

There is no age in Sikhi the youngest Guru Dhan Sri Guru Harkrishan Sahib Ji become the Guru at the age of 5.

There is no one as merciful as Waheguru and Guru Ji where sinner they are the destroyer of sins. Many many many times Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji reminds how Waheguru and himself can destroy our sins even if they are as huge as mountains.

Just start doing some Waheguru simran, everything will become clear and better.

Also please stop crying, use your time to do something good like simran or sewa.

Check this link

Please forgive me if i said anything wrong or offensive.

Sat Sri Akaal

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answered 2015-11-27 09:00:56 -0500

Cloud
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updated 2015-11-29 23:30:05 -0500

I'm going to answer this question through another perspective.

Sikh means = Learner. We are all learners and we are also learning about life. In SGGS you also so the saints writing that they are also sinners. So alot of us are also sinners.

I personally agree with gn. But I also believe that there are more tools then just bani.

Another thing a true Singh would've told you is:

ACT INSTEAD OF REACT

You can clearly see on your text that your self-esteem is low.

Here is a link that will help you with that, made by the guy who made the "How to trust in the Future" Video.

Self Esteem is Simply the state or condition of mind in which the Self is realized. – Yogi Bhajan I Self-Esteem is a huge issue with many people in our world as reflected by the huge number of books in the self- help section of most books stores. The irony is the True Self needs no help at all! A more appropriate description for that book section would be EGO helping EGO.The Ego loves to play games to keep you running in circles chasing your tail. The Ego gives you short-term advice on how to build your self-esteem--how to bolster and puff yourself up like a blow fish--suggestions such as get a makeover, go on a diet, lose weight, exercise more, take a class, learn a new language, get that perfect mate--anything to use your willpower (energy) to improve yourself. This keeps the Ego alive because what goes up, must come down. Anything that is driven from an Ego motivation is destined to fail because it is not in Truth. These methods keep you in an endless loop of false confidence, self-loathing and then back again. True self–esteem comes from an authentic connection to your Self.

http://www.3ho.org/five-ways-gain-self-esteem

Couple of videos that share lights on your issues and also suggests tools for them.

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