Ask Your Question

I need help

asked 2015-10-18 14:34:42 -0500

anon gravatar image

updated 2015-10-18 15:04:24 -0500

I once posted a question earlier but I had it deleted. But I kind of still am going through a emotional outrage about it so I will post it again with more details i guess. What is really my problem, I am not able to understand. help me out guys my mind is getting :| is this guy messing with me

Basically six months ago, There was a guy( he is muslim) . I had no feelings for him what so ever. But then he basically started flirting with me a lot. Mostly through texting. And because as a female (who naturally likes male attention) I flirted back. and I saw nothing much of him, but as we spoke, the persona he presented, I was in awe. because he is smart, really smart, and very unique, and beautiful, talks sweetly, presents himself in a good manner(like perfect).
but also in confusion, like those good morning beautiful texts, goodnight beautiful texts like that contact, wayyy too much contact, acting as if we have known each other for a long time. he would say things like you are the most special girl I have ever met so far, you are so beautiful, your hair is so pretty. the contact remained like that for 1 month (like literally day and night) if i didn't reply to a text in 1 hour he would be like are you okay!! :\

and then for 3 weeks he totally disappeared. (that kind of messed with my head)

  • and then we started talking again, he told oh its because he was just busy.
  • the flirting continued..

I grew an attachment towards him, if he didn't reply to text I would be like what happened and blah blah. He literally told me to grow up! :| but when I didn't reply he was like atleast check your messages. I felt like his weird little possession (like his pretty little doll) but I also felt bad for even questioning against him. I literally felt horrible for questioning him, he had that some sort of weird control. :|

^^ that was through texting.

He even said weird things about him like oh "I am a sociopath", "I am so messed up"

one time he invited me to go out drinking. I said no because its not really a sikh way of life. and my parents are quite strict. So I said no, and he said omg haha your a woman (I am a uni student, but don't drink or do drugs), you can't go because your not allowed. I said well no I can't, and then he said fine I respect that.

And we would hang out sometimes, and there was his other friend and everytime I would hang out with them (study sessions), I had this strange gut feeling, that said "girl, just run away" I ignored it. every time I would actually look at him, I saw a cold monster, who does not really care about me ... (more)

edit retag flag offensive close merge delete

7 answers

Sort by ยป oldest newest most voted

answered 2015-10-18 15:17:33 -0500

gn gravatar image

updated 2015-10-18 15:19:37 -0500

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Anon Ji please be careful, I don't know the intention of this guy but in the UK there is a problem of Sikh girls being sexually groomed by other faiths (if you just google Sikh grooming you can see how big it is).

They use methods similar to the above described, they get you emotionally attached and then they black mail you.

Again I could be wrong but it's better to warn you.

Check this link out

Do Ardaas ask Guru Ji to bless with strength to get over these thoughts, and don't beat yourself up over these thoughts/feelings.

From the link above if you talk to JKV, no doubt she can help you through what you are going through you can send her a private message.

Sorry I can help much

Sat Sri Akaal

edit flag offensive delete link more


Anon ji, bani says everyone is equal but it doesn't mean we let people walk over us, even if he was a Sikh I would still say avoid him. I've heard Sikh girls who used to think everyone is good, but people took advantage of them.

gn gravatar imagegn ( 2015-10-24 11:40:54 -0500 )edit

answered 2015-10-21 11:41:40 -0500

Guruka Singh gravatar image

Cut it off hard stop. When you are attached, you are easily manipulated. Never compromise your values for benefits. Trust your intuition, not your emotions!

edit flag offensive delete link more


sir.. i wanted to knw if intuitions are always right?

sim gill gravatar imagesim gill ( 2016-05-20 04:49:42 -0500 )edit

Yes. Your intuition is your "radar." You always know the truth within 9 seconds in any situation. You only become confused when your mind kicks in and starts debating with itself.

Guruka Singh gravatar imageGuruka Singh ( 2016-05-20 09:56:59 -0500 )edit

u mean the actual universal truth..,sir?

sim gill gravatar imagesim gill ( 2016-05-20 10:39:39 -0500 )edit

The truth of that person... that situation.

Guruka Singh gravatar imageGuruka Singh ( 2016-05-25 10:28:14 -0500 )edit

answered 2015-10-29 20:07:19 -0500

sikhi gravatar image

updated 2015-11-03 14:14:31 -0500

Hello, This is called "pull & push" technique taught by PUA artist to fetch girls to bed . & this bastard is trying same on you. It worked . Just block him on phone . Just neglect what he says , you will be good.ignore any of his sentence , your problem being you are taking his " pull push " technique pre made dialogues seriously . Just think a dog is barking.

Don't fall for anything , we have llost enough of our population Bcoz of crap girls we have. How can someone give doubt of benefit when this entire community is known for violating other community women! Ya you can't trust them , don't fool yourself . wanna meet thousands of girls spoilt by these bastards who thought same way. Visit a link above how she trusted one & then treated or wanna really meet many such women . Stay away & if you have more Sikh girls around you . Keep them safe too. Think abt what your parents , will suffer through when you go worng ,


Hello, You have to focus on yourself waheguru & your loved ones(parents) who will stand by you in any situation & what rest of the world say should not matter to you.When you go in professional world so many people will try manipulate you so just be strong & not let any talk or sentence effect you. He would have definitely used following lines or something very similar Things like 1)" I noticed something interesting about you " & then you go mad what did he notice , then guy keep you waiting & after sometime when your curiosity level is at the top, he tell today you have different hair style & how good it look or something similar 2)" I dont like two things about girls." - He tells you one & then tells i will tell other when i think you are ready for it or when you grown up women 3) Telling quite often , why you inquiring like cop, or my mom, or dont be my mom or Grow up girl. 4) Sudden change in behavior like talk sweetly once & then go out of limelight for days or or ignore you. There are many & it can mess up any young mind. SO stay away & dont listen to anybody but your parents. Give your heart to guru & his gursikh followers Not someone stupid

Also dont share your pic with anyone even through social media, These guys specially from UK upload those pics of indian girls on Porn sites & degrade the girl.I have millions of evidence

We need strong girls like you who can lift the sikhi status so just keep away from materialistic attachment like this & lean towards guru.

Also remember dont let anybody know about your feelings you had so that no one chase you emotionally ( emotional blackmail-crap like i like you, love ypou , i cant live without you) like crap Bollywood movies.Also dont be alone with any guy , there are many cases where these stupids have assaulted girls in an isolated place. Behave as ... (more)

edit flag offensive delete link more

answered 2015-10-23 13:57:34 -0500

anon gravatar image

updated 2015-10-23 18:36:41 -0500

i know that muslims and sikhs have a lot of drama, both historically and present. now I really don't even wanna make snap judgments based on that. its not even that "dont trust muslim guys"

from What I understand from bani, everybody is equal :S

For a second let us assume he is a sikh guy are these signs still alarming? kind of

i sense he is bad. No evidence :/ and generally I sense it that he is just playing with me like you play with a doll and then when you get fed up you throw it away.

he wants to have a girl who he finds physically attractive around but doesn't want an emotional connection with. he almost dehumanized me. like he would say "wow you looked really hot" but didn't even bother getting to know me, I am a spiritual girl with moral standards and he laughs at those. My opinion to him doesn't matter. I feel like he thinks he is above me. he thinks he is better than me.

and even when I used to talk to him he would be nodding on the outside, but I knew he didn't really care. he made many compliments about what I look like, but not how I really am. he always insulted me by saying I am a little girl. (like telling a woman she is not a woman just to get some sort of a rebellious reaction)

basically I have made a mistake of giving my heart to this type of guy. but this pain actually makes me closer to waheguru, it seriously does. because the more I think about him, the more I dive into bani, which has become my medicine. I have never meditated or listened to bani so much in my whole life.

(dukh daru sukh rog peya)

thank you guys (:

edit flag offensive delete link more


Thanks :) i will keep it in mind. anything more happens i will ask again for advice. Thank you guys for taking the time to read and respond to my dilemmas.

anon gravatar imageanon ( 2015-10-24 16:57:07 -0500 )edit

we don't have crap girls, and i am not a crap girl, I didn't even hug him( he was like wanna hug me, i was like no, and it was a lol moment for all his friends), or anything physical I just genuinely gave my heart to him because I believed what he told me, which i regret and those methods you said, :| very true he did those. bottom line, he doesn't plan to honor me in any way shape or form, and thank you really i need to hear stuff like this. its harsh a little but still need to hear it.

anon gravatar imageanon ( 2015-10-30 05:47:46 -0500 )edit

Hope you are done with dilemma & stopped all mean of communication with the subject & more focused on waheguru who will lead you to real sikhi path. We need real gutSikh girls like you who will raise great Sikh lion & lioness . Plz be focused & leave your heart at gurus feet rest assured Wkwf

sikhi gravatar imagesikhi ( 2015-11-09 22:39:21 -0500 )edit

answered 2015-10-22 02:45:02 -0500

Not at all Punjabi gravatar image

updated 2015-10-23 07:23:42 -0500

From what i can understand with the details provided above is, his intention is to manipulate you, and the way things are going for you be prepared to be sexually assaulted by him and then being forced to either marry him or convert to Islam.

Never ever trust Moslem guys.

edit flag offensive delete link more

answered 2015-11-10 02:19:22 -0500

anon gravatar image

updated 2015-11-10 02:22:07 -0500

2 sikhi the thing is that, this person is in my class, and i see him most of the time but i do not talk to him and I totally just ignore him and even blocked his phone. from looks he looks like a beam of light getting mostly 95 + grades and beautiful, but when i put together the facts and even what i found about his friend i get freaked out. and tbh he is the one playing these weird emotional games and blamed everything on me at the end. so I ignore him and have not spoken to him since September. if anywhere he is close I just avoid and take a different way, I avoid his friend too. [because I don't wanna get sucked back in, he knows my weakness, he knew i liked him so he messed up my emotions, he knew his power over me)
i can't trust my heart and thats why i need to pray a lot, and i do. i keep telling myself that he doesn't care about me, and it was all a game a trap. literally I pray and do ardaas every time I feel weak, i pray for good company so that I can heal faster. thank you for checking up on me <3 it actually means a lot , this online community has guided me a lot.

edit flag offensive delete link more


i pray to god to make me more emotionally strong, and help me focus on my studies. i don't wanna carry hate in my heart, but still be very very detached from that person. and hopefully next semester I won't ever see him again.

anon gravatar imageanon ( 2015-11-10 04:50:05 -0500 )edit

answered 2015-12-20 08:58:46 -0500

' Moh' attachment needs to be controlled. Not easy. It refers to attachment to loved ones too. Any form of attachment to beings or material things may have a negative effect. My attachment is to my family which I take too seriously. My job too = my cause for unhappiness when things don't go to plan. So I need to put a full stop to it. I tell myself any worldly situations are just mirages of what really should matter. I have to be useful for the common good of society & be kind. In addition while I'll never know God, I must have faith & hope to get more clarity whenever I'm ready for it. I'm obviously a slow learner & a horrible Sikh. I'm 43 I hope to be enlightened before I kick the bucket. I believe life is moving too fast & not enough time to set things right. Good luck sister & take care.

edit flag offensive delete link more

Question Tools


Asked: 2015-10-18 14:34:42 -0500

Seen: 2,022 times

Last updated: Dec 20 '15