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Is a Sikh girl allowed to have a crush on a guy from a different religion?

asked 2015-09-19 12:33:30 -0500

LoveLifeFaith gravatar image

Sat Sri Akaal! Hi, I'm 14, which is kinda young but I have a crush on a Christian boy. But I'm confused on whether it makes me a bad Sikh or not. Also, I love to read and I've always thought about how sweet it would be to get a boyfriend and have a love marriage but I'm taking Religious, Moral and Philisophical Education in school and also reading translations from the Guru Granth Sahib Ji in the Gurdwara and it says that you can't and stuff. Also my parents are very backwards and I've liked this guy for ages and don't know what to do. My friends are all like it's okay and normal. It was only when I typed the question on Google did I come across Sikhnet and thought I might as well ask. So please give me some advice like I really don't know what to do :(

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answered 2015-09-19 14:11:19 -0500

anon gravatar image

You are young for a relationship. These feelings are natural. but the thing is.. lets say you start dating guys (take the religion out for a sec) You will date and date and your happiness will come from external sources (guy validates you, you feel all pretty) In the end that is why girls in western societies have low self-esteem. They end up feeling used. girl you are only 14 invest that time to build a relationship with god. Be strong and secure in yourself. Self disciple is key thou. :) focus on sports, studies, naam, your future self will thank you. Trust me

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answered 2015-09-22 14:44:00 -0500

gn gravatar image

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Check this video out

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answered 2015-09-20 03:47:53 -0500

Not at all Punjabi gravatar image

But the question arises is does that guy love you too and if yes, just ask him to convert to Sikhism and maintain the outer identity of a Sikh male. Would he do it for you? You yourself would get the answer.

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answered 2015-09-24 16:51:45 -0500

Maverick gravatar image

Being 14 is much too young for any kind of romantic relationship. It is completely normal to have certain feelings for the opposite gender. However, you must control and restrain these feelings, because if you pursue the relationship it will not be healthy or proper.

When you have completed your education and have matured substantially. Then you will be ready to look for a partner in life. Ideally, another person who is also mature and stable. I don't believe that they need to be the same faith, but I think they should respect all belief systems that help humanity, including Sikhism. They should also share similar values like respect, honesty, and hard work.

I also think the whole concept of having boyfriends and girlfriends is bad.

For example, when I was younger many of my friends were girls of different faiths (Jews, Atheists, Muslims). I found some of them attractive, but I knew it would be better to wait and mature before starting any kind of romantic relationship.

If you like this boy, it should not be because he is simply attractive. You should evaluate his personality, beliefs, and ethics. It would be fine to become friends with him, as long as that doesn't include any romance. When you are older, if you have a very good friendship and believe he is a good person, maybe it would be a good idea to get engaged and eventually marry. I think as long as he is a good person, smart, and hardworking, your parents will be fine with him.

I also don't think you should make him change his faith. That is his choice, and Sikhism is against coercing people into another religion. I think inter-faith marriage is fine, as long as neither person is seriously baptized.

Also, your parents and friends may suggest certain partners to you when you are older. You should seriously consider their suggestions, because ultimately they have your best at heart. However, it is fine to disagree with their suggestions. You should always love who you marry, whether that be someone you find yourself or someone introduced to you.

When you are older, maybe you could try asking your parents very respectfully, what kind of qualities you should look for in a husband. That will give you an idea of what they hope for.

Ultimately though, don't just marry some uneducated hick your parents introduce to you, because he has land or something like that. You will have to live with him for 60 years.

Again, work and study hard, be disciplined, and make good friends. Start searching for a serious partner when you are ready to get engaged and married.

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Asked: 2015-09-19 12:33:30 -0500

Seen: 1,999 times

Last updated: Sep 24 '15