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I'm the worst amritdhaari ever! please help! what should i do?

asked 2015-01-03 16:35:31 -0500

anonymous user


okay so i watched porn last year and my mom caught me. ( i don't know when she caught me) she didn't confront me right away, but she did a few days later. i used to talk to strangers on omegle, watch porn, and masturbate. when my mom talked to me she gave me a huge lecture on how bad it is and how i shouldn't be doing it. she was really upset and i started crying. it made me feel really bad about myself. So yes, i did stop after that. i felt so much better. my mom and i started talking to each other again and she never brings it up thankfully. but then i started watching porn again a few months later. now I'm looking at porn, masturbating, or looking at nudes all the time. I'm on winter break from school right now and I've been doing it almost everyday. I'm so ashamed on myself, i let my mom down again! she hasn't caught me yet but i don't want her to either. i wanna stop this! how??? its so hard to quit and to stop once i start. please don't yell at me, i know this is bad. This is my fault now but when i was younger it was't my fault. it was my cousins. he introduced me to porn, and touched me at night. i hate him now and don't speak to him unless i have to. he probably remembers but we never bring it up. i was only 9 years old when i found out about this horrible stuff and its ruining my life.

i hate myself rn. please don't give hate just help..

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answered 2015-01-04 13:28:11 -0500

gn gravatar image

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

First don't beat your self up, at a young age Kaam ( Sexual desire ) is really though and because your on winter break from school and got nothing to do your mind wants you to do these certain things.

You got to understand that this is quite a normal thing at a young age. Where exposed to so much and its easy to just go on the internet, and start watching things.

First be thankful that you realised what your doing is wrong, and you realised now you need to stop. There are already many suggestions on this website about watching porn and masturbation, look at those and decide which one is the best for you.

My advice to you is to carrying doing Path, keeping doing simran and do Ardas to Guru Ji to give you strength to combat the 5 evils in your body. Maybe set your desktop, tablet or phone wallpaper to something Sikhi related to remind you every time your about to do something just turn it off or close your laptop.

There are many videos on YouTube about this one channel on youtube is called 'Basics Of Sikhi' (Click here), look at the many videos about this subject and go through the story of the gurus on there, so you use your time more wisely and feel stronger heres a link to some (Click here).

Now remember that Guru Ji is very merciful and forgiving. When start to stop watching sometimes you will fall but remember to get up and keep battling on don't waste your time beating yourself up.

Try using your time wisely do some sewa, help people out, play some sports and try not to stay free.

After a while, when you controlled this with Guru Ji kirpa, take Anmirt again.

Regrading the situation with your mum, it really depends on your relation ship, either tell her your watching porn again and ask her to help maybe she can help you divert your mind.

Also keep in your mind that each girl is either a sister, mother or daughter and respect woman for who they are. Check out the suggestions on here really good.

Hope you win this battle ! and sorry for this long message

Also i don't think anyone on here will hate you.

Please forgive me if i said anything wrong or offensive

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

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answered 2015-01-04 04:49:58 -0500

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh,

okay so you have recognized that this is wrong and a problem and it needs to stop. please DO stop yourself from going anymore astray.

see watching porn is like a disease. a disgusting, horrible, disgraceful, filthy disease. it takes away your purity and God is pure and if your goal, the Creator, is a pure one so you need to stay away from things that make you go in the impure direction, hence porn.

these people that create porn, you know they are big sinners seriously. they disrespect their bodies, minds, hearts, hurt their souls, whether they realise it or not, and they CHEAT themselves through this sickness.

porn is not love you know. it's a very high degree of lust that is uncontrolled and running wild, out there to corrupt a persons soul and cheat him and lead him FAR AWAY FROM GOD.

it's the demons plan for you, to bring you down through things like these. this lust (porn) is a demon and it's bringing your honour down, taking you away from waheguru.

see waheguru ji doesn't want this for you or anyone.

you should ask yourself, what am i getting out of this? am i getting pleasure out of engaging myself into acts such as these? if i am getting pleasure, then what kind of pleasure is this that its making me feel so horrible and low inside?! is this beneficial for me and my heart?

theres a pangti in bani, don't know it exactly, but its basically guru sahib saying that at a certain stage in life a person gets so caught up in lust that this person doesnt even question about what they are doing is right or wrong because they are so caught up in lust. now YOU need to get out of this phase.

omg there are so many reasons why porn will destroy your life. its bad sangat via the internet. you are sinning when you watch all these crazy people, i mean why do you wanna see all this rubbish??!

when you die man, dharamraj is probably going to show you a review of your life, and there you will watching all this craziness on dharamraj's screen and getting the biggest EMBARRASSMENT. just imagine how embarrassed your soul is going to feel.

and you know when you probably do all this crazy stuff without remembering the fact that God is able to see what you are doing. I mean you probably think, oh this is ok, noone's watching but guess what, you are wrong because God is everywhere and witnesses everything that goes on in all the worlds.

do you really want to live on doing this stuff, because somewhere inside you haven't realised that waheguru is not watching you? waheguru has given you a body, it's a gift from waheguru, He has given us eyes, to see God in everyone and acknowledge ... (more)

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answered 2015-01-05 10:58:22 -0500

Guruka Singh gravatar image

First, stop beating yourself up over this. You are not going to hell or anything. This is a normal human situation.

Second, please check out the youth forum archives for the MANY previous answers to this question. Just search on the word "masturbate."

Third, check out this video, "The Five Challenges."

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answered 2015-01-07 08:43:40 -0500

Singh5 gravatar image

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh

You are not the worst Amritdhaari ever and neither the best...Yet. A mistake has been made and you realize this. This is good, because it shows that something is not right in the mind.

Kaam is a very powerful thief who will destroy your will power through temptation, desire, feeling of wanting to.. etc etc. Kaam is right at the top of the 5 Thieves who will take you away from GOD. They are EVIL because they will not let you LIVE.

I cannot comment a great deal because my discipline is not 100% I am not amritdhari yet.

When the mind gets a thought that thought will stay in the mind together with all other thoughts. The eyes see what the mind desires, the body wishes to feel the experience, the mind is satisfied and the thought grows. Energy is given to these thoughts of sexual desire and the mind gets carried.....away so much so you become consumed in these thoughts because it is all pleasing to the MIND which is every cell and molecule throughout the whole body! The mind is not in your HEAD only!!

Please do not hate yourself, no one hates you here. The human being requires male and female connection, just not through these ways. Kaam just like Krodh, Lobh, Moh and Hankar must be kept under tight control otherwise they WILL control YOU.

Everyone's comments on here are all to help you, but ultimately you have to start doing what you are not doing. The mind is extremely powerful and very unstable you MUST always keep it under control and this can take time, years in fact. We have been given all the tools by our great Gurus and our eternal GURU stands strong and firm. So must we. Nothing is EASY in life otherwise how will we know what is HARD! We all struggle through life, it is part of the process. We all make mistakes and being amritdhaari does not mean you will never make a mistake. There must be some Amritdhaari out there who have made far more severe mistakes ok point taken you should not have done what you did but you did it regardless of earlier experiences which may have triggered this thought into becoming action. In future any thoughts which enter your mind that you KNOW will ROB you of your will power must.. MUST be cut of straight away otherwise they will linger in the mind and keep on harassing you until you give in to YOUR MIND.

Take care, stay STRONG and NEVER GIVE UP to become a TRUE KHALSA. Waheguru.....Satnaam

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Asked: 2015-01-03 16:35:31 -0500

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Last updated: Jan 07 '15