god's shadow

hello everyone my name is jaskaran Singh and I am asking this question in the hope that you will give me the right answer. I am an international student studying in new Zealand. before coming to new Zealand my parents took me to the golden temple in Amritsar to get the blessings of waheguruji. both of my parents prayed for me and asked god to be with their beloved son and hold his hand every time. don't let him to do anything wrong in his life. my beloved mom prayed in front of my eyes and said that "plz rabb ji mere Mundey di baah farh ke apne naal le ke jana te kadi ehdi baah na chhadna, enhu changey paasey val laana, bure karma to bachana te sikhi swaroop ch hi rakhna taaki eh koi galat kam na karey" I was very happy to study overseas. after coming to new Zealand, I started reading the gurbani, I used to read japji sahib on the first day of my college and I continued it only for one month. I also practised reading rehrar sahib in the evening. I was feeling that everything is under my favour, god is with me and he is helping me in each and everything. I can raise the pride of turban and show other cutting boys that what can a Sikh boy do by maintaining his proper personality. but all the enjoyness didn't last long I stopped practising gurbani and stopped visiting gurudwara sahib. I got demotivated that a turban boy cannot get a job easily and I thought its true because I was struggling to get job. now I have spent almost 9 months in NZ and I haven't practised gurbani in the past 8 months. now my life has became more miserable and worst. when I woke up in the morning everyday and starts wrapping turban. I felt that I am alone now, no one is with me. the charms and happiness of my life has gone away. and babaji has left my hand, he's not with me now, babaji has gone very far from me now. he'll never come back and I know its my mistake that left following gurbani and started doing evil things. I started doing evil things. but now I have realised my mistake and I want to become a good human now I want to raise my parent's head with pride. I want babaji to hold my hand again. I am crying everyday. and when I was visiting the gurudwara yesterday, the bhaiji was doing the katha and he was asking that does we people know that what is the aim of a SIKH ? and I was answerless. what is the aim of a Sikh, I want to know that. I want babaji to come in my life again and bless me I want him to forgive me for all of my sins. I want to bwcome a successful person will babaji ... (more)