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AKJ Amrit Sanchaar

asked 2012-08-31 15:33:40 -0600

anonymous user


updated 2012-09-20 10:29:19 -0600

Guruka Singh gravatar image

Vaheguroo jee

Guru sahib has done kirpa on blessing this daas for about 7 years, and recently i've been thinking of an issue that has presented itself before me numerous times, the Paanj Pyaare rejected an abhilaakhee because he/she is married and their partner isn't willing to take amrit. no one has ever told me why they do this, why is the person rejected a chance to present their head to guru sahib, just because someone else wants to screw up their life? is this person supposed to risk 8 400 000 life forms just because someone else screwed it up for them?

my moms friends sister went to an amritsanchaar this year, and got rejected, her husband was a drunkard, didn't want to get into sikhi. unfortunately for the poor lady, she met her end in an accident just three weeks ago. she will have to go through all those life forms again, this year was her fourth time presenting herself to pesh (at a AKJ jatha amrit sanchaar, twice).

all i want to know is the reason as to why this rule applies.


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answered 2013-07-03 10:13:11 -0600

Kamaljchana gravatar image


I completely reject the notion that both husband and wife need to take amrit together. Woman alone or man alone can also take amrit even if they are in marriage and their partner dont want to take amrit.

Your commitment to your guru and to Vaheguru is at your own personal level and not at a level of a relationship of any kind. One's father could be a drug addict, one's mother could be a prostitute, one's husband/wife could be a criminal or anybody but any of this in no shape could hinder you to become Khalsa if you are pure at heart.

If anyone believe what is said in above answers I think they really havent understood sikhi to the core. You cannot make someone follow the guru. This journey is walked alone with no support and with noone accompanying you. I am shocked at the answers. What logic does it make for wife not to have sex with her husband if she is amritdhari and her husband isn't. Sikhism is the most modern religion which rejects any kind of illogical reasoning. And if people believe in above statements I think it could take centuries before sikhi is actually understood by humans.

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answered 2012-09-01 12:54:53 -0600

kanwaljit.singh gravatar image

Having an Khande di Pahul is a personal decision but in marriage it's one soul in two bodies. The better half thing. So your future depends on your spouse's actions too. It has been advised that both partners should be ready. And sometimes the Panj Pyare impose it. Amritdhari jiwan is our keerat. If we go and have meet Waheguru, have Darshan, it is His Will and can come independent of whether you have had Amrit or not.

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answered 2012-11-06 13:16:41 -0600

Karanjit Singh gravatar image

updated 2012-11-06 13:19:36 -0600


everything has been said...she can take Amrit if she promise Satguru ji (5 PYare) that she wont have sex..

what to do? She can ask 5 Pyare to do Ardas for her as her "karam rishta husband" is not willing to follow the sikh path.

I personally know some case as you have mention; just two cases which just came in to my mind:

  1. One sister I know knew that her rishta with her husband is because of her previous Karma. She was really into Sikhi and her husband gave her the option either to be "modern" or he will leave her. Our beautiful sister replied: Well, thats easy. I already took countless life; now I have the chance to become a dauther of Guru Gobind Singh ji. I will go for it. If you want to take the divorce step, fine. I will see this as a test from Satguru, if I am really ready for this priceless DAAT.

Today she is some much in chardi kala. Waheguru

  1. The other sister - will call her better Mata ji:) - just told her husband that she will take Amrit and we wont have sex. After that day I will serve you as a brother; not as a husband. He thought she is joking, but she got blessed by Guru Sahib ji. He was really angry - still is as far as I know - and tried to ignore her. But they still live together in one house. She is over 50 just to tell you. But she also understood that she cant give her live away because of her husband rishta who wants to "enjoy live".

Today she is happy and ask everyday Guru sahib for more strength.

Karanjit Singh

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answered 2012-08-31 17:25:09 -0600

KAUR gravatar image

"if a person is already married when he/she takes Amrit, and the husband or wife has not taken Amrit, the should can not have a sexual relationship until both become Amritdhaari. If the couple, have sexual intercourse, they have both broken their rehat just as a clean pot becomes dirty if it touches a dirty one. A husband and wife should take Amrit together, and thus keep their rehat intact. It is not sufficient, for just the husband OR wife to take Amrit upon marriage." This is direct quote from Damdami Taksal website.

I think if a women takes amrit and husband does not then can you guarantee that they will not have physical relationship? NO, they will. Both of them have to understand that why it is important.

Guru ji knows everything. If your mom's friends sister wanted to take amrit and could not because of her husband and then she died, it does not mean that she will get into 84 lakhs joons. Maybe Guru ji took her so that she can be born again as a human and take amrit before marriage.

We are human beings and cannot tell what GUruji's plans are for us. We just have to accept them. Nothing happens in this world without Guruji's will

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I do understand that to sikh's it's important to take Amrit, but if one person took Amrit and their spouse didn't then I feel we as Sikhs shouldn't be forcing the non amritdhari spouse to take Amrit, as Amrit requires ones own commitment and their own willingness to take it.

Anonymous sikh gravatar imageAnonymous sikh ( 2012-11-25 19:52:39 -0600 )edit

answered 2012-11-06 10:51:05 -0600

unknownkaur gravatar image

What can you do in situations where the girl is an amritdhari and has to marry someone who is a non-amritdhari and perhaps drinks as well. I'm asking this question because even marriage is under the hukam of Waheguru Ji so what can be done in those circumstances. As both the girl and the guy should compromise but in this situation its a question about taking amrit.

I hope this makes sense...please guide!

Waheguru Ji Bless us all

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Bhenji, you said it!!!...After Amrit Sanchar 5 pyare gives hukum to marry an Amritdhari Gursikh..after this has been said.. Waheguru take notice of it and change the karma IF you follow GURUS HUKUM.. we all say Guru protect us and I personally have full faith that even if such rishta has been

Karanjit Singh gravatar imageKaranjit Singh ( 2012-11-28 02:57:03 -0600 )edit

written pre-ordinate - because of Karma - Guru Sahib will protect us from such rishta and will change it! IF not, it is our weakness following Gurus hukum! Karanjit Singh

Karanjit Singh gravatar imageKaranjit Singh ( 2012-11-28 03:00:38 -0600 )edit

answered 2013-07-03 05:54:06 -0600

katyar gravatar image

I go and meet Guni guani he write down my name for Amrit I am scared I go to gurdwaras every day I do path every day I know baba ji write down my for my sake I want to be a daughter of guru gobind singh ji I am scared but if I do not keep reheat but husband said this is totally up to me he not stopping me from Amrit I think you should have to prepare fully with your mind & husband before you do Amrit

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answered 2013-07-06 17:50:41 -0600

Gurujis Daughter gravatar image

I have see this case - wife wanted to take Amrit but husband was a manmujh. So much trouble she had to go through. She would continuously tell about Guru ji, explain him about dharam. She herself really loved Waheguru ji. She once talked to an elderly Gursikh about it. He told her that if you yourselves become a strong Gursikh, Guru Sahib will change your life and make even your generations Gursikh. She then stopped focusing on making her husband close to Gursikhi and focused to make herself strong. She got so much Kirpa that her husband eventually saw her and himself started to move on this path. Now both wear kakars and ready for Amrit ^_^

Do ardaas, seva of doing sikhi parchaar in front of your husband and focus on yourself.

The reason behind this rule is that it is very very hard to have Gursikhi jeevan in your husband is a manmukh. It is very hard, think about it. True Gursikhi jeevan means no fashion, parties, eating outside, talking to manmukh friends, Amritvela. These are some examples.

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answered 2013-07-07 07:49:56 -0600

Anonymous sikh gravatar image

I still would disagree that it is necessary for both spouse to be amritdhari, because its one thing to convince someone to take Amrit and another thing to force a person to take Amrit if they wish to maintain their married lifestyle. Amrit should be a personal decision and the non amritdhari spouse should not be forced into it.

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answered 2015-03-02 12:20:19 -0600

GP gravatar image

It's not an easy decision and let us also not decide for anybody.If someone wants to be a Guruwala/wali let her do it, to accept or reject is the Guru's job. Our Guru is fair and all merciful, once you are an amritdhari I believe he is the guardian of your amrit.So he shall take care that your spouse comes around or give you a separate life within that house.One step is yours and the rest the Guru takes or so I hope.

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answered 2017-07-25 00:57:16 -0600

What if a guy is an amritdhari and has had sex before marriage he has committed Pesh and then must go and stand before the Panj Pyare right as he has broken one of the 4 rules meaning his Amrit is now broken and must take it again.

Does this now mean he could be refused Amrit by the panj pyare? will there be punishment for the person who committed this act of Kaam.

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Asked: 2012-08-31 15:33:40 -0600

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Last updated: Jul 25 '17