many wrong deeds

EDIT: Revised Answer:

Thank you for going into more detail. I am very sorry that I misinterpreted your previous query. I took some time and wrote out what I believe is a rough sketch of what you asked. Please do correct me if I am wrong.

I wish to tell this in great detail so you could give me the correct advice. I was in a sexual relationship four years ago…at that time I lived in South India. My brother and dad were class one officers. My parents place a lot of trust into Waheguru and believe that unless Waheguru ji wishes it, they cannot do anything, although they begged/prayed from their hearts. I have done paaat since childhood and have put my entire belief into Waheguru. But even then I committed a big mistake. I lie/lied a lot to my parents. I’ve come to realize that from now on that I could not stop this…I did a lot of ardas in front of Waheguru, that He may put me on a straight (clean) path, but maybe because I lied to my parents so much, that’s why God isn’t listening to me. I am preparing for study in Civils. Even by now I haven’t been pre-cleared even after all that effort I spent on it. My father treats me as a son and puts more trust in me than in my brother. The last time I gave the [test] to be pre-cleared, I didn’t pass, but I lied tremendously to my dad that it did pass. So much so that day and night I pray that maybe I will be cleared (for the test). Seeing their trust has caused me to feel guilt/worry that nothing is in my hands. I even threw their honor into dirt (but my sexual relationship, no one knows of it). How can I fix my mistakes? How can I beg for forgiveness from Waheguru so that He may forgive me, that the hopes and dreams of my mummy and my daddy can be fulfilled and so I can be helped?

Okay. I believe this warrants a new answer. You are suffering from guilt and the constant anxiety that extends from the lies you know you told your parents to make them happy. And because of that stress, the "bad" deeds you did in the past are weighing heavily on your heart. You committed a mistake, but the first step to progress has already been done. You have acknowledged your mistakes and are ashamed that you lied, but now have to get out of it. Put down the sham and tell your parents the truth. Are you afraid of what they will say, that you will break their trust and burden them even more? That has already been done, but to fix it, you have to talk with them, and let them know. I used to be so afraid of what my dad would think about ... (more)