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Closure for my Late Grandmother.

asked 2013-10-06 02:58:16 -0500

anonymous user


Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh to all!

First off, a short Grandmother recently passed away [September 13, 2013 during Amrit Vela]. She passed due to a "massive heart attack." A heads up, this is going to be a long one because I feel it's important for me to release my thoughts somewhere thus, I was lead to this forum that I've never seen before.

On September 11, 2013, my mother decided to invite a few ladies over to our home to chant the words of the Sukhmani Sahib alongside other Prayers which were specifically performed in our basement. From the years of my upbringing, my Grandmother didn't seem like she had a huge interest in Praying, and she usually would complain about her feet swelling if sitting cross legged on the floor or the legs being in a vertical position whenever we offered to take her to the Gurudwara Sahib - we found it to be her excuse not to go! While none of us really noticed, she participated in the Prayer at our home that day and did not complain once. We distributed Langar as well and she actually did Seva and made sure everyone had ate before she ate. She enjoyed every single dish my mother made. She passed the day in a happy state and she was all dressed up wearing her favourite jewelry. In the evening, my Grandfather & Grandmother were enjoying their early evening and she asked him if the weather was okay to walk in. He said "it's not super hot, you can walk around our street if you want." My Grandmother couldn't handle extra warm weather (she has fallen a couple of times due to it) so it was unusual for her to even ask my Grandfather that! My mother & siblings were heading out to buy a few school supplies when my sister accidentally left the keys in the door, she told my Grandmother to take them out. At this point, my Grandfather was reciting prayer, dad was on the way home from work, I was studying in the basement. Two minutes after my mother & siblings left, I heard a huge thud. I thought great, what did Mummyji [that's what I called her] drop on the ground now? Don't get me wrong - she was a wonderful woman, but a little silly and clumsy. I ran upstairs to the kitchen and didn't see her. Then I turn my head and she's on the ground on the floor of my laundry room. Unconscious. There is one step down to get to the laundry room. Her feet were above the step (on the tiles) and the rest of the body was slanted on the laundry room floor. I thought she casually fell because I've seen her fall before. I ran to look at her and something didn't look normal. I've personally never dealt with such a situation, so I tried to ... (more)

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answered 2013-10-06 15:51:32 -0500

Lo K. B. gravatar image

Sat Nam jio,

That was a beautiful story, my dear, and very moving. My condolences and prayers to you for this tough time. What struck me was the similarity of your story to the time when my grandparents passed away. My grandmother had a massive heart attack and it was my grandfather who found her. My grandfather passed away a month later while being in a coma, probably out of grief for his loss. It was very tough, but my emotions didn't fully express themselves to me until a few years later. It is very important that you talk about your feelings during this time, whether on this forum or with friends and other family members. There is a grieving period that is usually set aside afterwards in the Punjabi culture, so participate in that as much as you feel comfortable.

You were destined to find your grandmother when you did. However you feel that you were brought there is your own special knowledge. Your intuition is growing and becoming stronger. But remember that it is important to express your feelings. Cry, talk, laugh, reflect. You need to make sure all of this comes out and is not put away. Share stories with your family about your grandmother. Celebrate her life. Feel awe for the years she has lived and the experiences she has had. Feel grateful that she had a happy day before she passed away. Know that God had her, and has her now. She is in the best place she can be. Be grateful.

And Nihang ji is right in the fact that her soul has probably reached the next incarnation or has gone elsewhere. Unless God shows you (and He shows whenever He feels as though you need to know), you don't have to worry about it. Let her go. All things go back to God, as they all came from that Energy. A soul longs to merge with the One, and Death is the mechanism that does it. It's only a passing period, where the soul gratefully releases the physical body and returns Home. It's as natural as birth, part of the cycle that you are coming to know. From Death there comes Life, as the death of an old tree gives rise to another generation.

Last year, when I arrived at my college, I stood at the cliffside and looked into the ocean that spread before me. I watched the pull of the waves, patiently bringing life to the shore and taking it away. I let my mind wander. Then I closed my eyes, held the railing and chanted long "Akal"s for all of the people who I had loved and who had passed on during my lifetime and before. I really put my entire feeling into it and every successive "Akal" took away a layer of pain I did not know I was carrying. I did it for five minutes, but when I opened my eyes I felt ... (more)

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answered 2013-10-06 14:24:14 -0500

Nihang Gavinpal Singh Khalsa gravatar image

waheguruji ka khalsa waheguruji ki fateh !

you grandmother may have allready tacken rebirth by now, or has been judged for her deeds, my freind we will not quite know, and youll not be able to find out unless god shows you. stay close to bani and simran and youll feel that presence.

remember our souls are part of god.

what a beutifull story, i leave you with this shabad which is typiclly read at funeral though it is not grim atall.

"the dawn of a new day is the herald of a sunset the earth is not your permenant home."- Ravidas ji, ang 793- adhi siri guru granth sahib ji here you can listen to the shabad

waheguruji ka khalsa wahegururji ki fateh


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Asked: 2013-10-06 02:58:16 -0500

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Last updated: Oct 06 '13