I am not an Alcoholic

Sat Nam!

First, it's great that you find listening to bani peaceful. That contrast tells you that something internally has to be dealt with and worked out. If I were in your shoes I would ask myself these questions:

• Why did I stop drinking after three months? What compelled me to stop and how can I create that environment where I don't feel compelled to reach for a bottle?

• I feel much better when I listen to bani. What can I do to further incorporate that into my life? What did I learn from it and how can I apply it to find a solution?

• How important are social situations to me? What matters more, my health and well being or relaxing with the guys at a club? What are the consequences of playing with fire?

Your mind will go in circles when you answer these questions for yourself, but be honest and straightforwards with yourself. Go over it again and again. The drinking you describe in and of itself sometimes comes from an internal void that wants to be filled. Identify that void. Intoxicants are a quick fix for people who do not want to deal with something that might be emotionally trying or undesirable. The problem is is that no intoxicant cares for you, no substance has any capacity to uplift you or solve your problems. In fact, their purpose is to distort reality, and that oftentimes is irreversible and destructive. You say that you are not an alcoholic, but having an urge to drink could very well lead you into becoming one. Why would you take that risk? In my perspective the Guru said not to take intoxicants because they take you away from your own Mastery, your own Grace. When you take them you lose your ability to live in your higher consciousness (God) and they cause you great misery and dull your character. You become slave to a liquid, essentially. That is not what God and Guru want for us AT ALL. OUT OF LOVE FOR YOU, INTOXICANTS ARE PROHIBITED. With that knowledge, when you let Waheguru abide in your heart, that void you feel will be filled.

Many have attested that when they devote themselves to their spiritual practice, the things that are triggers for binge drinking dissolve. No one will have forced you into stopping. You will not want to do it anymore. Practice your spiritual discipline for 40 days without fail. If you mess up, start over as if it's day one.

For your last three questions:

• What is a social drink? A martini at a club? A whiskey on the rocks during a wedding reception? The problem with taking a social drink is that you are not only cheating yourself of a commitment to live as a conscious human being at all times, but you are living to please others. Who wants to do that? There is nothing wrong, uncool, unhip or unstylish with going to a party ...