My husband is rude and always put me down. He is always unhappy me. His family is rude to me.

answered 2013-08-22 20:35:04 -0500

Lo K. B.
329 ●7 ●13 ●21

Sat Nam!

It would be helpful if there was more context to your question, but what I can say about people being rude to others is that while sometimes it's unwarranted and people like to take out their emotions on other people just to make themselves feel better, it's best to begin to look at your own actions, reactions and behaviors towards your husband and family. Remember, you cannot change anyone's thought patterns or behavior but you can uphold your own grace and integrity by choosing not to REACT to their rudeness. It hurts and you deserve to be spoken to with respect, but weigh the situation in your mind and look at what you can do different. Don't be self-righteous and place all the "blame" on one side. When your really meditate on it, you will see that the solution is simpler than you previously thought.

I also saw that you were the person who wrote in that your husband drinks alcohol and you want him to stop. That's great and noble that you want to help him to put an end to what is a clear contributor to his rudeness. Have you spoken to him about it? You have to take a stand as a wife and exercise your right to live in a happy, healthy and holy household alongside your husband. If he will not listen talk to other family members or friends who share your concern. Spiritually, do paath and pray for him to embrace his sainthood and to come to terms with what is making him reach for the drink in the first place. Get him to do paath with you if you can. He will find peace in his life and his desire to drink will diminish. The rudeness from your in-laws and others will take care of itself.

You can do a quick search on the Youth Forum archives using the keywords 'husband' and 'alcohol' and read similar questions asked by women in your position.

http://fateh.sikhnet.com/sikhnet/youth.nsf/3d8d6eacce83bad8872564280070c2b3!SearchView

May God bless you and your family with peace and understanding.

answered 2013-08-15 09:01:46 -0500

Nihang Gavinpal Singh Khalsa
1065 ●29 ●47 ●68

updated 2013-08-24 05:24:17 -0500

waheguruji ka khalsa wahegruji ki fateh.

firstly look at your self your in the consequence. - what is it that you could be doing wrong. as no one is better then the other.

take advice from the guru do ardass and go to the guru. as for this website i doint think we can say much more apart from help your emotions to settle with comfort. i suggest you listen or recite asa di vaar everyday fro the next 40 days. this therapy removes the duality of the mind from us and settles us in one mindset. after all that is what gurbani is. it resets our mind set opn positivity and the total praise of the lord.