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young adult daughter betrayed our trust

asked 2013-08-10 01:12:31 -0600

anonymous user


Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh,

We've just found out our oldest young adult daughter totally betrayed our trust and in a unhealthy lifestyle. Being born and brought up in the East and West culture, we have always tried to have a "balance thinking". So devastated by her lifestyle choice, it is drowning me into a deep depression. We can't seems to find where we went wrong in our parenting skills, thought we were always there for her! I'm seeking Waheguru's help in showing her the right path.. please advise.

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answered 2013-08-11 17:03:51 -0600

Gurujis Daughter gravatar image

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

I can understand how you feel. It is true that every Guru Ka Sikh wants to install Gursikhi in his/her children, but it is all Guru Sahib's Will.

Everything happens because of Guru Sahib's Will and individual's past Karams. We all are bound by Karams of previous and this life. It is only when our Karams finish up, then we meet Waheguru. You also wished that your child would walk on Guru ji's Path but it is hard to understand that this creation is all His, and He does as He pleases. Even though we want our family to be Sikhs, but we should understand that nothing is ours, it is His creation. I understand it is easy to say but hard to do. As Guru ji's Sikhs and part of Khalsa, look at other children who have so much love for Guru Sahib in our Panths. They are our brother sisters, and children as well.

Also, do not think that anything went wrong in your parenting. Again, it is Maharaj's Will. He makes us do, speak, behave the way He wants. He is making your daughter function according to His Will as well.

What you can do is do Ardaas to Maharaj. I have seen families change drastically. In my own family, I have seen miracles happening. I have been going through very same phase previously. I would be depressed and constantly put all my effort to make my family close to Guru Sahib ji. But one elderly Sikh told me - If you yourself focus on becoming True Gursikh, all your ancestors will get Guru's love. I do not know what that moment was when she was telling me this, but by His Grace those words got stuck in my heart and I left trying so hard to bring my family towards Sikhi and put all that energy in making myself close to Guru ji. Now, my family also is moving towards Sikhi.

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answered 2013-08-10 23:06:53 -0600

Gurpreet gravatar image


I would like to say that it musn't be easy for you all at this moment in time and the feeling of being depressed is just making things worse.

I hope you have a good understading and realtioship with your daughter to make her aware of how you are feeling and dealing with your troubles.

I would recommend being open with her and telling her how you feel and what damage it is causing. Children at such an age tend to make wrong choices in order to learn from their mistakes.

As for generations are passing younger girls are facing much more difficulty to fit in with society, communication is the key as you aren't going to know any further information without discussing it first and then make a decision together to see how you can get through this the nest way.

Hope this has helped

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Asked: 2013-08-10 01:12:31 -0600

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Last updated: Aug 11 '13