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How to face problems

asked 2013-07-18 05:07:49 -0500

jkaur gravatar image

updated 2013-07-18 05:13:13 -0500

I am 38 years sikh women.I gone through very hard life since childhood.Now i am bit settled in my life but the problem is that i am feeling nagative all the times .It is effective my whole life as work,relationships.I start nitnem in amritvela and listening kirtan.I am feeling very hard to communicate with people and thats why it making me difficult to get married even to do a job.Doctor gave me some anti anxiety and anti deprassant.But i didnt take that medicine bcz it didn't work .I am doing ardas every day.But my family members specially my sisters they cant understand.Today i dont have any job and i am feeling stuck in that nagative black hole that have no exit to go out from that darkness.

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answered 2013-07-18 22:51:33 -0500

Your Average Sikh Guy gravatar image

Dear Sister,


To some extent, I can relate to your situation and feelings. I think its safe to say that at some point in life, most of us get into a situation or a point in life where we feel like we are "stuck" and can't get out of it! People close to us don't really understand what our "problem" is because they are in their own "happy world" and they don't want to leave it to come into our "sad little world". But that's okay because the "problem" is yours and only you can resolve it. Don't expect others to fix your issues. You need to take "control of your issues. Its not going to be easy. As a matter of fact, its going to be the hardest thing you will have to do but once you take the first few steps, you will realize that you can do it. Its like riding a bicycle. No one, and I mean no one, gets on their bicycle for the first time and starts riding it without falling from it! Right? It takes practice! Just like it takes practice to learn to do paath. I remember when I first stared to do Jaap Sahib. It would take me 1 hours (seriously) to do the Jaap Sahib. The first few times were tough and I would be exhausted by the end. My eyes would feel sleepy and my head would still be reading the paath (Namsten Akaalee, Namstan Diyalee, Namstan Akarnan, Namstan Abhranan.....!!!). But after some practice, I got good at it and now I can do Jaap Sahib in 15 mins!

Life is like that too. It take a lot of effort to bring the positive thinking and positive mindset into your life. Doing your nitname helps a lot. It helped me a lot when I was feeling very negative all the time. I would blame a lot of "bad stuff" in my life on life or my parents or others not realizing that by doing so, I was making myself miserable. One thing that helped me a lot was not reading gurbani but understanding it. When I was in tough situations, I turned to waheguru. I turned to my Guru. I stared to read the daily hukamnamaa and the english/punjabi translations on and it completely changed my way of thinking (this is true, I am not making this up. I don't get any kickbacks from!). Reading the translations made me "understand" what my guru was trying to communicate to me. It was very simple and beautiful. The Guru would tell me:

Tu Kahe Dolee Paraniyaa, Khud Rakhega Sirjanhaar (Oh mortal being, why you worry so much about your present and future? The Guru will take care of it all)

I seriously doubt anything else in the world could have changed my thinking and attitude towards life so dramatically. Maybe that is the reason why I feel in ... (more)

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answered 2013-07-18 10:20:22 -0500

JasPinduh gravatar image

I know how you feel ... What I think the probleme is that you need some time alone to think and meditate ... Go on a trip or just go to the gurdwara every day ... For now bein with people will make you vulnerable so just stay alone till you gain enough confidence to face the world .

And when u say " rough childhood " just forget about it. Remember this " I laugh at my past because I laugh at hate ... Enjoy your current life because life is great "

And if your family don't understand you ... It's okay ! No one understands me and i dont mind lol...Same way u can't understand everyone . And the whole marriage thing , just wait till the perfect so to comes to you ~ your wonderful just the way you are kay ?

And plus your an awesome person . You know what to do and your on the right path ... Continue praying and every thing will be alright :)

Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa waheguru Ji ki fateh

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Asked: 2013-07-18 05:07:49 -0500

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Last updated: Jul 18 '13