My dreams have stopped.
I used to have dreams which calmed me. I used to be able to recall them throughout the day. I once had dreams where I would talk with strangers under trees and by streams.
I used to wake up feeling whole, feeling like I wasnt alone and that my path was right.
Those dreams have stopped. I feel alone again. I cry again. I lay in bed at night without sleep and all the worries and 'what if's' and 'if only i had's' come back. Then they are replaced with anger at those who have betrayed me, at those who have done me deep wrongs but are living happy for it.
I know this is wrong. I know these thoughts are depriving me of my path.
Where did my dreams go? Where did the feeling of being whole go?
How can I return to that path? How can I stop these tears and thoughts?
I try to serve others, I volunteer, I am seeking career in the social services field. But I feel anxious, my heart flutters painfully.
Help me please. Guide me please. I dont want to be here anymore.
