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Contradictory statements on friendship in the Gurbani

asked 2018-09-06 01:24:01 -0500

Mansukh gravatar image

ਮਨਮੁਖਾ ਕੇਰੀ ਦੋਸਤੀ ਮਾਇਆ ਕਾ ਸਨਬੰਧੁ ॥: Manmukhaa keree dosatee Maya kaa sanbandh: Friendship with the Manmukhs is an alliance with Maya (sggs 959). ਦੁਨੀਆ ਕੇਰੀ ਦੋਸਤੀ ਮਨਮੁਖ ਦਝਿ ਮਰੰਨਿ ॥: Duneeaa keree dosatee manmukh dajhi maranni: Making worldly friendships (the love of Maya), the Manmukhs (self-willed ...) burn and die (destroy their spiritual life - ਆਤਮਕ ਜੀਵਨ ਸਾੜ ਕੇ ਸੁਆਹ ਕਰ ਲੈਂਦੇ ਹਨ). (sggs 755).

Hi, I have a question pertaining to the notion of friendship in gurbani. On the one hand the above passages indicates that we shouldn't make friends with Manmuks, but on the other hand it is also mentioned In the gurbani that: Naa ko meraa dusman rahiaa na hum kis ke bairaaee. Braham pasaar pasaariou bheethar satgur te sojhee paaee ||2||. Sabh ko meet hum aapan keenaa ham sabhanaa ke saajan. door paraaeio mann kaa birahaa taa mel keeo merai raajan ||3|| : No one is my enemy, and I am no one's enemy. God, who expanded His expanse, is within all; I learned this from the Satguru. I have befriend all; I am everyone's friend. Upon removal of the sense of separateness from my mind, I got united with the Lord, my King. ||3|| (sggs 671)

Could you kindly explain these contradictory statements on friendship? Also does the phrase 'Friendship with Manmukhs is an alliance with Maya' suggest that friendship with Manmukhs indicates one's level of consciousness to be Mayaic (deluded, ignorant etc.). Can't we be Gurmukhs and still have friends who are Manmukhs and not allow our consciousness to drop to their level? Certainly there are a lot of good people out there, who may not believe in God, and does this suggest that we should unfriend them because they are nonbelievers?

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answered 2018-09-06 11:01:16 -0500

Guruka Singh gravatar image

updated 2018-09-06 12:57:08 -0500

This is a great question. Well considered and practical. I'm sure others here are wondering about this as well. Thanks for asking it. Guru Ji is saying that who you choose to hang out with affects your consciousness. Be kind to all and see all as kindred souls who are all part of the same One. Seeing everyone as soul brings the consciousness of "No one is my enemy, and I am no one's enemy," because all souls are infinite. Even when you relate to everyone's soul, you still have to choose how you want to interact with others. The concept, "Can't we be Gurmukhs and still have friends who are Manmukhs and not allow our consciousness to drop to their level?" implies that people are higher or lower, but that is a trap. "Nanak, utam neech na koi" - no one is higher or lower. We are all just souls who have incarnated together on this spaceship Earth at this time. Everyone we meet is a part of the lessons we incarnated to learn. The universe is a university, so enjoy the curriculum.

That said, who do you want to hang out with? What I have found is that the more I learn and evolve in my own Sikhi, the more I want to be with people who have no agendas or judgements, and who are working on themselves spiritually as well. It's a natural process that some "friends" drop away and new ones come.

Discrimination in choosing what to eat and drink, what activities to do, or not do, and who to hang out with comes naturally as we work on ourselves to peel away the layers of samskars and attachments and allow the things in our life that are not serving us at this time to fall away naturally like a snake shedding its skin.

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Asked: 2018-09-06 01:24:01 -0500

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Last updated: Sep 06 '18