Abhilakhi's while sitting in the presence of SGGS Ji are reminded of the do's and dont's of the Sikh Rehat Maryada by the Panj Pyares before the start of the Amrit Sanchar ceremony.
One of the rule is that Amritdhari must at all times wear all the 5 Kakars excepting few situations where one has to open the Kakar for example while making love to your spouse, obviously one has to open the Kachera.
But in your condition, you deliberately chose to ignore the rules of wearing Kachera and Kirpan. Now this situation is called Khandit.
All you need to do is present yourself in front of the Panj Pyares and ask for forgiveness. But please don't try to break the rules again and again.
The question is, WHY? It seems this is a conscious decision you are making. There's more to this story. I invite you to share it.
Actually sometime i loose faith at my religion and some time when i feel that i am satisfied with my life but when again i go to Gurudwara sahib every time i go with tears that why i does this seriously intentionally i love waheguru but i don't know why it happen i am so upset and depress
So the issue is doubt. Get to the root issue and recognize it. It is simple, either you love your doubts and want to keep them, or you are ready to let them go. Matha Tek and keep your head down on the ground. Lay your doubts at Guru Ji's charan and consciously and gratefully give them all to Him