I can tell you are struggling with these features of yourself a lot. You have gotten some answers on other occasions, but they don’t seem to be resonating. So I’ll try to put things a different way maybe.
When the mind thinks about a problem over and over it seems to cloud over so much that you cannot think that there is a solution. Gurbani tells us that there is a solution to all problems. Gurbani is in fact healer to all problems, whether social, physical, emotional, mental, etc. we need to get your mind to stop obsessing on the problem and focus now on acting on the solution. If you keep reviewing the problem constantly, you will never move to the action stage. You need to make those changes now.
A good step is to visit the doctor. The will help you figure out if you do have a diagnosis, and then you can start to make a plan to treat it. Instead of thinking you are crazy or have some diagnosis, go and find out. Step 1 is to book the appointment. Being bullied is also something to see a counsellor about. “acting like a white person” is not a real thing. That’s people bullying you into saying you need to be a certain way to fit in.
Next step: You mentioned that you feel your brain is not under your control. Gurbani teaches us how to bring the mind from going in all different directions and focus that attention on God. That happens through Simran and spending time in sangat, listening to kirtan and doing sewa. This spiritual piece is extremely important for mental wellbeing. Thoughts about sex and songs are also managed through this spiritual way. So is the thoughts of not respecting your parents.
In terms of studying, someone else mentioned good time management strategies and going to Career and Student services for an appointment. That is an important step that can be taken for your schooling. You will need their help for the study habits.
