It would be helpful to have a little more detail about what’s going on so I can provide more specific advice but if you’re not comfortable sharing that it’s okay. Keep praying and keep having faith. Do simran, listen to kirtan, read Gurbani, do Ardas and try to understand Gurbani. It is good to learn from your mistakes. That is what life is about- continue to learn, continue to self-reflect. I am glad you are doing that. Have you tried spending time with sangat that uplifts you, inspires you? That might help you feel better.
Running away from problems usually doesn’t solve them, because the feelings are inside. (Exception: In some situations, when the situation isn’t safe that we are living in, then it is a good idea to step away. That’s not the same as running. I’m not sure about your situation). It sounds like you are depressed because you are feeling guilty. What kinds of decisions have made you feel guilty?
Whatever happens in life, we have sown that seed but maybe many lifetimes ago, maybe yesterday. Whether it is success and good things, or bad things and challenges. Our soul carries that on through our life forms. Just keep walking the path to God, and continue to sow good for the future. We can burn off the bad done in previous lifetimes in this way too. Sometimes situations are much better than they could have been if we hadnt done so many prayers in this lifetime. We can build strength and resilience to get through any situation is that we read Gurbani and we maintain that God is here for us no matter what. It’s always helped me to remember that no matter what, Truth is by my side. Don’t let you faith waver, but use this pain to build it further. The best thing I ever read was something like “use Gurbani to speak to your mind.” The mind is in pain- it needs support from the Guru. Use that support. Ask the Guru a question and indeed you will get an answer. The Guru shows us the way to live, the right path. So if you walk that path, it doesn’t matter what anyone else says or does, that is the path to walk. A path of love, compassion, and devotion.
Different situations will challenge us. Other people’s thoughts don’t match our own and we generate conflict. It’s up to us to work on our own minds, and to try to resolve conflicts peacefully, clear up misunderstandings and communicate the best we can. It takes time to build those skills.
