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Sikh and Muslim relationship

asked 2017-07-25 00:33:08 -0600

tb92 gravatar image

updated 2017-07-27 02:19:43 -0600

strongKaur gravatar image

Hello , I am a 25 year old girl. I am a sikh but i dont practice i am more spiritual. I fell in love with my best friend who is a muslim. We decided to date but it only lasted for 2 months. He said he cant do this and hurt me because he knows we have no future. I was upset for awhile but told myself that he is right. we remained good friends and would hangout a lot. we still act like we are dating in the sense we will hangout with friends and just hug eachother and get jealous and talk and help eachother , hard to explain. we say we love eachother sometimes. I have told him 2 times indirectly that we should stop doing this because it hurts me a lot and i cant move on. He says to me its hard for him sometimes because he has feelings for me. I know he talks to other girls but not in that sense. on my end my parents want me tl get married so they want me to talk to guys, and sometimes i think i should but other times i think i shouldn't give up. I asked him why cant we just see how things go and he said no because it will hurt us a lot more. I am so confuse don his end that why does he just not move on then but still treat me like his gf a bit and if he really loved me why cant he try, I know his family and my family would not approve what so ever. i also know I am bigger then him physically but he never says thats the problem. I dont know if i should move on.

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answered 2017-07-25 02:59:57 -0600

Not at all Punjabi gravatar image

updated 2017-07-25 11:41:04 -0600

Obviously, you guys have no future because your Parents won't approve of the mixed relationship. So, better would be to stop seeing each other in order to avoid the mental suffering or the distress.

But if you wish to make his Parents happy then you can carry on because Moslem Parents would be too happy to accept a Sikh as their daughter-in-law, the reason, subsequently you have to embrace Islam.

But i wonder why do only Sikh girls fall in love with Moslem guys, never heard of Moslem girls falling in love with Sikh guys. I have been following the Q&A section of the Sikhnet for years and n-number of times the question has been asked by young Sikh women that they are in love with Moslem guys but never ever the question has been asked by a Moslem girl that she is in love and wants to marry a Sikh guy. The answer is Moslem girl will never leave Islam for a Sikh guy. It's time to CONTEMPLATE.

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answered 2017-07-25 13:49:10 -0600

gn gravatar image

Just make sure you aren't getting played about, if there's no future then move on, the quicker you do the better.

There are quite a few resources to help you:

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answered 2017-07-25 14:53:06 -0600

strongKaur gravatar image

Only you can really decide if you should move on because you have to live with your decision but from your message it sounds a bit like you are torn because of wanting a real relationship and facing the reality that he doesn’t want one. In which case your choices are to 1) continue as is 2) stop talking to him entirely/pause or end the friendship and 3) get married to him.

Let’s explore these options together. Option 1 is continuing as is. The problem right now is that this friendship isn’t leading anywhere for you, and in fact is hurting you because you still have feelings for him, and you aren’t able to meet someone else to get married. He’s talking to other girls, but it doesn’t sound like you are talking to other guys. The plus side of continuing this friendship is that you avoid the pain of having to let go and the heartbreak associated with it. The bad part is that you are still in pain and aren’t happy right now. Maybe somewhere in your mind you are hoping that by continuing as is, he will come around and marry you, but remember that he’s made his choice.

You wondered why he doesn’t just move on or try to fight for your relationship. You could always just ask him directly. Why is he doing this to you, when it’s unfair to you? You said it hurts him to let you go, it hurts him to be in a real relationship. He is stringing you along until he finds someone else or his parents find him someone and that’s not fair because then it’s about him and not about you.

Option 2 is to move on. To stop talking to him, or at least temporarily put a hold on the friendship and get some space and perspective in your life. Probably spending some time to yourself would be good before jumping right into another relationship but it’s your choice. You know you tried everything for this relationship and he is the one who told you that he didn’t think this was going anywhere, so it was out of your hands and that might help you feel more at ease that you can move on. The good thing about moving on is it doesn’t drag out something that isn’t going anywhere and is hurting you. You get to process the heartbreak and then try for something new. The painful thing about moving on is the initial extreme difficulty of leaving each other, and not talking to each other. You’d have to directly tell him that this isn’t happening anymore and he isn’t going to let that happen easily.

Option 3 was that you get married. It sounds like you wanted this but he doesn’t. I guess the considerations in this case would be religion (which you’ve ... (more)

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Asked: 2017-07-25 00:33:08 -0600

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Last updated: Jul 27 '17