How to deal with a drinker?

answered 2017-04-21 08:49:11 -0500

Not at all Punjabi
1027 ●45 ●56 ●74

You wish to follow Sikhism and the Rehat Maryada but at the same time you want to be with a Man who is a drunkard. Remember, the habit of drinking increases in a person with each passing year and since you have mentioned that you are pretty convinced that he will not change, so the answer lies in your question itself.

There are number of cases where due to this habit of drinking in men, womenfolk be in Joint families or Nuclear families do suffer a lot.

answered 2017-04-25 22:33:20 -0500

strongKaur
1688 ●51 ●63 ●80

Well your realistic options here are that you a) stay in this relationship or b) leave this relationship. It’s always so hard to make such a big decision when we are emotionally invested and love someone. It keeps us from being objective in evaluating whether or not that’s the life you want. Let’s look at it this way, if he is like this forever, are you willing to live with him like this, raise your kids in a home with him like this (if you plan on having kids). He probably will not change simply at your pushing him to do so. Real change really comes from people’s own realizations of how their behavior is harmful. I do know a lot of people who don’t just drink but were full alcoholics who changed their lives, it does happen. But that change required something inside them, and in the meantime their spouses were really in a tough spot (miserable). So having more conversations probably wont get you many places. He’s not willing to change, now can you spend your life with him like this? Just think about this carefully because I don’t want you hanging onto the hope that he will change after you get married, or change tomorrow and if it never happens you’ll be sad and trapped. I can’t really tell you what to do. If I was you and someone told me to leave him and it turned out badly, or if someone told me to stay and it turned out badly I’d probably be mad at that person forever. It has to be your decision. It’s hard either way I think. Do ardas, get some guidance from Guru Ji in the form of a Hukamnama and you will figure this out. I can say that it is hard to walk a certain path if your partner is not on the same page. Our families are really our sangat for life.