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interfaith marriage and in-laws

asked 2017-03-21 01:33:18 -0600

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How should a non-Sikh spouse deal with hostile in-laws who are opposed to the marriage? My friend who is currently married to an Sikh woman was told by her family that they would only accept him if he converts to Sikhism.

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answered 2017-03-21 04:42:56 -0600

Not at all Punjabi gravatar image

updated 2017-03-22 10:02:08 -0600

Nothing much can be done in this case because it seems the women's family is the strict follower of the Sikh Code of Conduct. The Sikh Code of Conduct, ""Article XVIII "" Point numbers "B & C" clearly says that a true Sikh must give his/her daughter's hand to a Sikh only and the marriage has to be solemnized as per the Anand Karaj procedures, some of the Sikh families follow the Rehat or the Code of Conduct properly some don't.

In this particular case there are two options before the couple either the Groom converts to Sikhism and be happily accepted by the Bride's family, else the Bride herself converts to the religion followed by her husband. Once she converts to her husband's faith, she is no more a Sikh so obviously, the Sikh Code of Conduct doesn't applies to a non-Sikh but then she must be prepared to say Good-Bye to her Parents' family forever.

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answered 2017-03-24 01:46:39 -0600

strongKaur gravatar image

That’s a hard situation. One would hope after marriage the parents would be more accepting, but I guess sometimes not. We are humans first, believing in a particular religion second. On a human level it is important to try to understand each other and accept one another. It’s hard to change other people, get the in-laws to change their mind. But I think that if they were open-minded to getting to know their new son-in-law it might be different. Just tell him to remain understanding and not hostile himself. Maybe they will come around with time. If they aren’t really willing to talk it out or get to know him it makes it hard. Most conflicts come from what we call the 5 “thieves” in life- lust, anger, greed, attachment, pride, and ultimately ego. When we are able to put these away and sit down and have a clear conversation to understand one another, we can resolve the issue. I think if her parents were able to put their own differences aside and understand their daughter has chosen to marry someone from a different religion, that would be ideal, but we can’t really force them. I think all your friend can really do is try to focus on his relationship with his wife. I would assume they would have had a conversation before marriage about whether he was going to change his religion or not, and that would have been decided then.

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Asked: 2017-03-21 01:33:18 -0600

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Last updated: Mar 24 '17