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My life is hell because of gambling

asked 2017-02-09 18:59:49 -0500

Jagmeet kaur gravatar image

updated 2017-02-09 19:08:28 -0500

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh I am Jagmeet kaur I need help, I am engejed and my fioncy plays gambling a lot he earn money and he lost everything in gambling, we both were in relation for past 8 years and he was not like that before but 1 year ago he started playing gambling and now we are going to get married in October but i am confused how can I handle him I had try everything but he is not leaving that. We both take Amrit and I told him that you are not allowed to do that but still he is going and he is not wearing his kirpan. What can I do I don't understand he told me that he want to quit that but he said he can't do that because now he is addictive can anyone tell me what can I do to recover him coz I don't wanna leave him in this situation I love him so much he need help please tell me what can I do


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answered 2017-02-10 22:16:01 -0500

strongKaur gravatar image

I’m sorry about your situation. I don’t know if any of this advice will help, but here’s some ideas. Firstly, he needs to recognize his problem. It sounds like he does because he wants to quit, but perhaps he might not realize the full extent of his problem and the impact its having on your relationship and it sounds like your wellbeing as well. It sounds like he started gambling a year ago and has stopped wearing his kirpan, etc. What changed in this year for him? What is driving this change? Try to help him figure that out for himself. Is he depressed? Is he stressed out? Ultimately I mean it’s his problem and he really needs to have the motivation to be able to make this change to work on his problem, but you can try to help by having those conversations with him. Gambling can go really really bad- like he could start stealing if he runs out of money to gamble with, or when you get married he could use up all of your money/savings, and you could lose your house, etc. If he wants to get over this he needs to have some support, but also target where this is coming from. If he’s depressed for example he needs to learn other ways of coping. He might benefit from counseling. He can surround himself with sangat that uplifts him, and supports him in staying away from this. He can give up using his credit cards and have someone help with finances.

I think you seriously need to think about this before you get married!! Remember, you have the right to choose to delay your wedding or to walk away at all times. You don’t want to be trapped and unhappy. You need to focus on what you need and the life ahead of you.

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answered 2017-02-13 09:34:11 -0500

Singh2000 gravatar image

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguruji ki fateh

Jagmeet Kaur Ji, I am fully agree with Strong Kaur. Help him as a friend, But for marriage think millions of time. Marrying with such person means you will be gamble your life and chances of winning is very less.


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answered 2017-02-13 10:22:10 -0500

Guruka Singh gravatar image

Regular gambling is an addiction. You can't "recover him." He has to realize his situation and truly want to come out of it. It has to come from within him. If he sincerely does not want to stop, then nothing you do will make him stop. If he truly wants to get out of it, then he should contact Gambler's Anonymous There is also support for families and loved ones in relationship with gamblers at Gam-Anon.

Even though you are engaged, you may want to put off marriage until this situation is completely resolved.

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Asked: 2017-02-09 18:59:49 -0500

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Last updated: Feb 13 '17